Heart To Heart TEASER Used to the climb up the fire escape though she was, the heat of the day left Mel panting by the time she reached the roof. Cole was already there, running through a Kata. She sat and watched him with a smile, wondering if she would EVER be capable of the grace and serenity that seemed to come to Cole naturally. In the Cirronian’s hands, the Kata became physical poetry. Cole finished and turned to face her, his serene expression replaced by a smile. “Hello, Mel,” he greeted her, stretching and arching his back. “I brought up a thermos of lemonade,” she offered, pouring some and trying to ignore the view offered by his stretching. It did not help that his clothes were clinging to his sweaty body. “I figured as warm as it is, we could both use something to drink.” “That sounds nice,” he agreed, crouching in front of her and accepting the offered cup. He took a long sip and refilled it before offering it to her. “You’re stronger today,” he noted as she drank, pleased. “I feel worlds better,” she agreed, capping the thermos again and rising. “So, what’re you teaching me today?” she asked. “It’s time to learn how to manipulate your energy, Mel.” “I can already do that, though,” she pointed out, frowning faintly. “Springing locks and healing injuries are not enough,” Cole told her. “These are only two applications of many. Others require different forms of manipulation,” he explained. “Come,” he added, gesturing for her to follow. She nodded faintly and followed him across the roof to a shady spot with a blanket spread out to sit on. As she settled herself, Cole produced a candle, placing it between them as he sat. As Mel regarded it curiously, he spoke. “Tell me about the sun, Mel.” “Wh... what about it?” she asked, frowning uncertainly. “What is it?” “A star?” she ventured. He smiled faintly, nodding. “It is. And what are stars made of?” “Uh... hydrogen?” His smile widened at her flustered attempt to try to divine his meaning. “Fire, Mel. Stars are masses of fire.” “Okay.” She nodded. “Fire is very important to Cirronians, Mel. Fire gives us life.” Mel flushed slightly at the intensity of his tone. She knew from the hallucination they had shared that fire carried sexual symbolism for Cirronians in addition to its other important roles in Cirronian society. “No Cirronian household is complete without a fire burning there,” Cole continued quietly. “This flame burns always. When a man and woman marry, flame is taken from her family home to burn in the new hearth. It symbolizes the warmth and affection between a couple, the continuation of generations, the Cirronian soul... Many things.” “Okay,” she murmured, committing this information to memory. Training sessions with Cole often included lessons in Cirronian philosophy and Cirronian life in general. Though little of it was important to the lessons in any way she could see, Mel cherished these pieces of wisdom as a way to better know and understand Cole. And, ultimately, herself as well. “But fire has different aspects. Hwa’an and Hva’an,” he explained. Reaching for the candle, he caught the wick between his thumb and forefinger. When he removed his hand, the candle was lit. “Hwa’an is the flame from which life comes. Hva’an is the flame which devours.” He glanced up at her, smiling when he saw understanding in her eyes. “Every fire has both. Cirronians have a saying: devouring fire still brings warmth and light.” “Every cloud has a silver lining.” “Yes, Mel.” He smiled faintly. “But the meaning runs far deeper than this. Because fire IS what it is to be a Cirronian. Give me your hand.” Mel obediently slipped her hand into his when he extended them, smiling faintly when she felt warm energy enveloping it. “You feel that?” “Yeah. It’s nice.” He grinned broadly at that, pleased that she enjoyed the feel of his energy. It was promising. “This is my energy as it exists without manipulation,” he explained. “It can be used to heal, or to open locks, or to fix broken electronics. Or it can be used to cause harm,” he added quietly, releasing her hand. “The same energy, used and channeled in a different way.” “It’s the same?” she repeated, startled. “The energy you use to heal and what you use to fight?” He nodded. “Most Cirronians never learn to use their energy for offensive purposed. It is very difficult. And many consider it to be untrue to what it means to be Cirronian...” “But YOU use your energy to fight,” she pointed out. “I do,” he agreed quietly, his expression grave. “I accepted long ago that Hva’an truly IS an aspect of Hwa’an. If I had not, I would not be able to use my energy in this way. You may not be able to, but I would like you to try. You will be far safer if you can learn this.” Mel did not hesitate. “Okay, Cole. Let’s do it.” END TEASER Mel sat across from Cole on the roof, the only light on the moonless night provided by the slight, golden glow spilling from her cupped hands. “Good, Mel,” the Cirronian murmured. “Now make it healing energy,” he directed. She nodded faintly, closing her eyes and concentrating. Generating healing energy had become easy enough when there was a real need for it, but she was finding it almost impossible to conjure up on demand in the course of the lesson. “No, Mel,” Cole interrupted gently. “You’re trying too hard. Just allow it to happen...” “I can’t!” she complained, opening her eyes and shaking her head. The glow faded out abruptly. “Besides, this isn’t even the point of the lesson.” “It is a part of the learning process. Try again.” Muttering in frustration, she closed her eyes and tried again. She jumped when she felt Cole’s hand on her arm. “It’s okay, Mel,” he murmured, giving her a gentle smile. “Look at me,” he directed. She nodded faintly, regarding him uncertainly. “This is a part of you, Mel. You can do this. You HAVE done it. Healing is an act of love, Mel. Feel that. Find that in yourself and you will find that which allows you to heal.” “Love,” she repeated quietly. Licking her lips, she glanced down at his hand on her arm. Feel love? Easy enough with Cole’s hand resting lightly on her arm, him smiling gently at her, encouraging her, sitting so close that she could feel his heat and smell his smell. The glow in her hands changed color abruptly, shifting from pale gold to an electric blue-white. Cole jumped backwards, staring at her with wide eyes. His eyes flicked from her face to the energy between her hands and back again. Mel felt more than saw the glow fade. Her eyes were fixed on Cole, his expression a combination of surprise and... desire? “Not that kind of love, Mel,” he told her, his voice shaking. “That is... different.” “Different?” she repeated, shifting uneasily. She did not need Cole’s next words to confirm her suspicion, not after New Year’s Eve. “That is the color of... physical love, Mel,” he explained quietly, lifting his hand to her throat. “Who were you thinking about?” “What makes you think I was... thinking about anyone?” she asked quietly, not looking at him. “Mel,” he whispered, gently pushing her chin up. “Were you thinking about ME?” he asked, making no effort to keep the hope from his voice or expression. She swallowed hard and closed her eyes, nodding once. “Good,” he said, causing her eyes to shoot open. He smiled shyly and gave an apologetic shrug. “I’ve been wondering how to... approach this subject with you, Mel.” “Approach this subject?” she repeated quietly, shaking her head. He could not possibly mean what she thought he meant. Could he? He nodded faintly. “Yes, Mel,” he murmured, leaning towards her. “I love you, Mel.” “You...” She felt her eyes fill with tears and cursed herself for the timing. “Mel,” he whispered in concern, gathering her into his arms and hugging her to his chest. He closed his eyes, smiling. “You’re happy,” he breathed. “You are happy...” “Yes, yes I am,” she answered, nodding and wrapping her arms around him. “God, Cole, I’ve wanted to hear that from you for so long.” “I’ll never make you wait to hear it again,” he promised. “I was scared before.” “You aren’t scared of anything.” “Everyone has SOME fears, Mel. Mine was that I would lose one more person I loved.” “And that doesn’t scare you any more?” “It scares me more than there are words for, but...” He shook his head. “I can’t deny my own feelings any more, either. With your permission, I wish to live the rest of my life by your side.” “Just like that?” she asked, staring at him. “I mean...” She shook her head in confusion. “Where is this coming from, Cole?” He took one of her hands in his and lifted it to his heart. “It comes from here. I love you. I had to accept that Nallia was gone before I could admit that to myself. And I had to... stop letting my fear dictate my actions.” “But you ARE afraid,” Mel pointed out quietly. “I can feel it in you.” “I am afraid, Mel,” he admitted. “But not at the thought of living my life by your side...” He smiled shyly. “I meant every word I said when we took the Dwenyah Ordí together, Mel. Every word: I love you, Mel, and my heart is yours if you will have it...” Mel closed her eyes and nodded, reaching blindly for him. “I love you, Cole. I do.” He held her close and buried his face in her hair. “You make my heart glad.” They knelt there, just holding each other, for what could have been minutes or hours, until Mel reluctantly pulled away. “We should either finish this lesson or... uh, go inside.” She flushed and bowed her head. She had not meant to imply what her words could have been construed as implying. Cole smiled faintly, amused at her discomfiture. Unable to resist teasing her a little, he asked gently, “And what will we do once we HAVE gone inside, Mel?” Her head shot up and she regarded him with wide eyes. “Cole, I... uh...” His smile turned reassuring and he shook his head. “When you are ready, Mel, I will be waiting,” he promised. “There is no hurry,” he assured her. “Our souls became one the day we spoke those vows. That no one else heard them means nothing. I am yours; you are mine. The rest can wait.” She smiled adoringly at him. “You are amazing...” He smiled back, his expression that of a man admiring a beautiful painting. “We should continue your lesson,” he suggested gently. “You will require rest soon.” “I seem to need less every day,” she noted quietly, cupping her hands and calling up a small measure of energy. “As your training progresses, much that was latent in you awakens,” he explained. “You’re saying that I’m becoming more Cirronian?” she asked, regarding him with wide eyes. “Yes, Mel.” He nodded. “You will always be human, but you are now also Cirronian. Does this trouble you?” “No,” she answered honestly, shaking her head. “I... I feel like I’m... getting back something I lost a long time ago.” “This is exactly what you are doing, Mel. And it is BEAUTIFUL.” She flushed and bowed her head. “So are you,” he continued quietly. “Will you show me again what happens to your energy when you think of me?” he asked hopefully. “Uh... I can try.” She nodded and closed her eyes, concentrating on thoughts of Cole. His caresses and kiss at the Newlywed seminar last year. New Year’s Eve, holding him and being kissed by him. The camping trip, sleeping in his arms. A thousand little touches and caresses, surreptitiously given when no one was looking. Their shared hallucination, curling up with him every night on the couch, kissing him at the wedding. What might have been afterwards if the hallucination had continued that long. It was this last thought, imagining Cole taking her into his arms and making love to her through the night, that did it. She felt the energy in her hands change, heard Cole’s reverential “Beautiful...” When she opened her eyes to look at him, his expression was once more a combination of awe and desire, and his hand hovered over the blue-white glow, shaking. “What does it feel like?” Mel asked quietly, watching the conflict in his expression. He wanted to touch her hands, to experience that energy. “It is... glorious beyond words, Mel.” He smiled and gave a faint shrug. “It can only be experienced, not described.” His smile turning shy, he added, “It is the first step in a Cirronian joining.” “Oh!” Mel murmured, her eyes widening. The glow faded immediately, earning a smile from Cole. “What?” “It is important to be calm or a joining can not take place.” Mel could not help but smile in response to that. “Well, that rules that out for me, doesn’t it?” she joked. “Not forever,” he promised, taking her hands in his. “I know MANY ways to make you calm,” he reminded her, lightly caressing her throat and releasing soothing energy. “Yes, you do,” she murmured, closing her eyes and letting her head fall back. “Show me your healing energy,” he ordered, still stroking her throat. “Good,” he murmured, nodding as the golden glow shifted hue slightly. “Now for offensive energies... Banish anger and fear from your mind. These will make it difficult to control the energy. It is dangerous. You must keep your emotions steady.” “Right,” she agreed quietly, not sure how she could possibly feel anything resembling anger or fear when Cole was sitting there caressing her sensitive Cirronian throat. “Good,” he breathed. “Now, keeping yourself calm, think about the day you saved Isabel. Remember that need to protect her. Remember the instincts that guided you in saving her. Not any desire to cause harm, just a need to PROTECT.” Mel inhaled deeply, nodding and calling to mind that day. The day she had discovered her innate ability to open Hyperspeed. That had been self-defense. Everything else that day had been in defense of another. The need to keep Isabel safe had been overwhelming, a compulsion that had run soul-deep. “Good, Mel,” Cole murmured, nodding as the golden glow shifted to a pale red. “Violence for violence’s own sake is a terrible sin, but in the defense of another, it must be excused. The use of force may be justified. ONLY to protect ourselves or others can we use force. You have more power in you than you can possibly imagine. You can fight with it. Look at it, Mel. FEEL it.” Mel opened her eyes and stared down at her hand, startled to see the energy glowing red. Her hand tingled and her entire arm with it, right up to her shoulder. She could feel the energy sparking and racing up and down her arm, building in power. “Cole?” she asked uneasily. “What now?” Cole rose and walked across the roof, picking up a target cut from heavy cardboard and propping it up. He had cut it that afternoon, after Mel had agreed to this aspect of her training. “Now, Mel, you use what you have,” he told her, nodding encouragingly. “How?” she asked, frowning at the burning sensation that was beginning to form in her arm, intensifying. “Throw it away,” he directed. “It’s just like throwing a ball.” Mel nodded and took a deep breath, refusing to let herself feel silly as she wound back and made a throwing motion with her empty hand. She yelped and jumped backwards as the target burst into flames. END ACT 1 “Very good, Mel,” Cole told her, beaming as he reached out to steady her. “I’ve never seen anyone do so well on their first try.” “I think I burned my hand,” she answered, shaking it. “Here, Mel, let me see.” He gently took her hand in his, probing tenderly and releasing healing energy. “Thanks, Cole.” She smiled up at him. “That’s better.” “How do you feel?” he asked. “Good. I’m good.” She smiled widely, feeling the exhilaration that came with learning a new skill and making Cole proud at the same time. “Not weak at all?” he asked, eyeing her with concern. She shook her head, smiling reassuringly. “No. In fact, I feel great.” “That’s good, Mel.” He smiled at her. “We should go inside now.” “And what will we do once we have gone inside, Cole?” Mel bantered, smiling at him. Cole smiled faintly, shaking his head. “What would YOU like to do, Mel?” he murmured, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close. “I want to talk to you,” she told him quietly, grinning. “After THAT, who knows?” He smiled down at her, raising an eyebrow. “I have a few ideas, Mel,” he announced gravely. “I’ll bet you do...” she answered, grinning. “Come on, Cole.” Cole obediently took her hand and followed her to the fire-escape, climbing down first and, when she reached the bottom, wrapping his hands around her waist and helping her down. Smiling up at him and feeling easy and relaxed, she wrapped her arm around his waist as they walked up the stairs. *** Mark sighed softly, glancing into Jess’ bedroom. She was asleep, Kate snoozing next to her. Since her father’s death, Jess had a hard time sleeping alone. After two or three nights, Mark had suggested that Kate occasionally take over that duty. He simply enjoyed holding Jess in his arms all night far too much. Kate rolled over, opening her eyes and looking at him. “Hey, Dads. You want to take over?” she yawned. He shook his head faintly. “Go back to sleep, Kitten,” he advised. “In a minute,” she said quietly, slipping out of the bed and walking to join him at the door. She looked up at him, shaking her head. “I approve, you know.” “You...” He shook his head, regarding her blankly. “You and Jess, Dads. You make a nice couple.” “We are NOT a couple,” he told her firmly. “You’d still make a nice one,” she said, shrugging and standing on her toes to kiss his cheek. “Love you, Dads. Night.” Patting his shoulder, she turned and walked to her room. Mark stared after her, shaking his head. He turned at the sound of Jess stirring restlessly. Still asleep, she was reaching out for someone in the empty bed. Sighing, he pulled off his robe, dropping it on the chair and climbing into the bed with her. Mumbling in her sleep, she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. “You’re too young for this,” he sighed, wrapping his arms around her. This had NOT been what he had in mind when he had expressed a desire to Jay to have someone to hold at night. No woman should have to deal with the things she’d had to, not ever. Especially not a woman like Jess who was, for all of her troubles, a vital, happy person. Some of that happiness had been killed forever with the death of her father, he knew. He could only hope that they could salvage what was left of it. Tears in his eyes for everything she had lost, he tightened his hold on her, burying his face in her hair. “We’ll get you through this,” he whispered, cradling her close. “We will.” “Thanks, Mark,” she yawned, half-opening her eyes. “Where’s Kate?” “Her room. Want me to go get her?” he offered. She shook her head, closing her eyes again and snuggling close. “You’re warmer than she is. And bigger.” He smiled faintly, shaking his head. “Go back to sleep, Hwa’i.” “You keep calling me that. What’s it mean?” “Go back to sleep,” he repeated gently. “‘Kay, Mark,” she mumbled, her eyes drifting shut. Sighing, Mark held her close until he could sense she was asleep. After only a few minutes, though, she stirred in her sleep, reaching out and calling for her father. “Hush, Jessica,” he murmured. “It’s okay, Hwa’i. You’re okay...” “Leave him alone!” Jess whimpered in her sleep, shaking her head violently. Mark closed his eyes, shaking his head. The nightmares had been a nightly occurrence since Richard’s death. Inhaling deeply, he gave her a sharp shake. She awoke with a yelp, staring fearfully around. “I’m here,” he assured her quietly. “I’m here.” She nodded wordlessly, closing her eyes and biting her lower lip. “Would you like to talk about it?” he asked quietly. She shook her head. “Just put me to sleep, okay? No dreams?” “If you want,” he murmured. “I do. Just please put me to sleep now. I... I just want to rest.” “All right, Hwa’i. It’ll be okay. I’m here. Sleep well,” he murmured, passing his hand in front of her face and releasing sedative energy. “What now?” he whispered, staring at the sleeping woman in his arms. “I can’t be in love with you,” he explained, shaking his head. “I just... I can’t.” “You trying to convince her or yourself?” Kate asked gently from the door. “Get some sleep, Dads. You look like you could use it, too.” She turned and was gone before he could respond to either comment. Shaking his head, Mark closed his eyes and struggled to sleep. His dreams, when they came, were memories. ~~~ “Oh, hi, Dad,” Mark greeted his father, closing his textbook and sitting up on the bed. “What’s up?” “Your mother thinks we should talk,” Allan explained, entering the bedroom and closing the door. “About this Bridget woman you’ve been spending so much time with.” “Dad, I’m a little old for you to be giving me The Talk,” Mark pointed out, flushing and bowing his head. “Besides, I took basic biology. I know how it works...” “Good,” Allan answered easily, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Considering that it was your mother who had to explain these things to me, and the fact that I still feel like I’m learning half the time, I might not be the best one to instruct you on that particular aspect of adult human life,” he pointed out with a grin. “Fair enough, Dad,” Mark agreed, nodding. “Then what’s up? If this is the lecture about taking precautions--” Allan shook his head. “Marcus, you’re a smart young man. Your mother and I know this. And we do not plan on pretending for one second that in this day and age you do not know as much or MORE about these things than we do. We just want to know if you love this woman.” “I... I’m falling for her, yeah.” He nodded faintly. “I mean, that’s not a problem, is it? You and Mom both like her, right?” “Yes.” Allan nodded. “She is a beautiful and charming young woman, Mark. You’ll be very happy together, I can tell.” “Just like that?” Mark asked, grinning faintly at the certainty in his father’s voice. “Cirronians have a way of knowing these things. That’s why I need to talk to you.” “I don’t get it.” Allan smiled and shook his head. “No, I suppose you don’t yet.” He sighed thoughtfully, considering before speaking. “When I came here, Mark, I never intended to fall in love with your mother. I was just here to watch over her and keep her safe. As your presence here proves, the Fates had other plans...” Mark nodded wordlessly, knowing that his father was getting at something by his unusually grave tone and expression. “I fell in love with her before I knew what was happening. It was horrifying.” “Horrifying?” Mark repeated, startled. “Beyond words,” Allan assured him honestly. “And THAT is what I wanted to talk to you about.” “I don’t understand, Dad.” “Love, Mark. No matter what you read or hear, nothing can prepare you for it. It takes your feet out from under you, brings you to your knees. It changes the entire course of your life. It changes YOU.” Allan reached across the bed, taking his son’s hands in his. “I’m not saying this is a bad thing. It isn’t. But it is... unexpected and frightening and... exhilarating.” He shook his head. “But you need to understand exactly how scary it can be, too, that it will change you and affect your judgment and leave you reeling. People can get hurt.” “Bridget would never hurt me, Dad,” Mark assured him. “I know that. But people still get hurt. Loving someone makes it easier to be hurt by them.” “Are you saying I shouldn’t fall in love?” Mark asked, frowning. “Not at all. Love is a glorious, fulfilling thing, Mark. Physical or otherwise, it COMPLETES a person. But there’s pain to be had from it, too, and that can be very hard to reconcile with something so beautiful. Love is like fire.” “It gives life, but it can still burn you,” Mark murmured. “Devouring fire still brings warmth and light...” “Exactly.” Alan nodded and squeezed Mark’s shoulder. “Is it worth it, Dad?” Mark asked quietly. “Every second of every day, pain and all, it is worth it. When every breath you draw reaffirms how wonderful it is to be alive, it is MORE than worth it, son.” Mark smiled faintly, nodding. “Thanks, Dad. I think that has to be the most effective facts of life lecture in human history...” “Then my work here is done,” Allan informed him with a grin, rising and bowing. “Which reminds me, there is a very lovely young woman downstairs who would like a moment of your time.” “Bridget? She’s early.” “Is she?” Allan glanced at his watch. “Ah, so she is.” He paused for a moment and then grinned at his son. “Which is the other thing I wanted to mention to you today. Being in love plays hell with your perception of time...” END ACT 2 “How did you learn all this?” Mel asked, handing Cole a cup of tea and settling down on the couch next to him. “Do they teach Cirronian children this stuff in school?” “No, Mel.” He smiled and shook his head. “School is to learn about our world. Family teaches us about ourselves.” “Oh. So your parents taught you?” Cole’s smile did not fade, but it turned sad. “I was young when they died, too young to have been trained yet. My sister taught me.” “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t know...” “How could you know what I’ve never told you?” he asked gently. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, Mel,” he assured her. “My memories of them are happy. There is little grief.” “How did they die?” she asked hesitantly. “There was an accident. The family was returning from Orsus when the living-area of the ship decompressed. Almost two hundred died, my parents and baby sister among them. My sister and I were exploring the hydroponics bay or we would have as well.” “My God, no wonder you hate flying on those things...” Cole shrugged helplessly, not bothering to deny the connection. “Danya raised me after that. The first few years were difficult, but we loved each other. It was enough.” He looked up at Mel, adding reflectively, “We have that in common, being raised by someone other than our parents.” “Yeah, I guess we do. You never mentioned it before.” “It isn’t something I talk about.” Cole shrugged. “It’s not like Nallia’s death. I was still young and idealistic and I accepted it quickly. They were a very positive influence on me while they lived and Danya filled the void afterward.” “She was your sister?” “Yes, Mel. She had just come of age when they died. She was the one who taught me how to heal.” He smiled faintly, his expression sheepish. “She said if I was to be such a little fool as to disobey rules she made for my own safety, she was just going to have to teach me how to repair the damage I did to myself.” Mel could not help but laugh at his words. “What did you DO?” “There was a Mór Nuin tree near our house. Very high. She told me not to go near it, that it was dangerous to climb.” “So you did anyway?” she asked, grinning. It was the kind of thing she would have done as a child. “Of course, Mel. What else?” He smiled and shrugged. “I fell... three stories.” “Oh, my God,” she whispered, staring at him with wide eyes. Cole nodded, grimacing. “I broke both legs and an arm. She could hear me screaming from the house.” He paused for a moment, closing his eyes. “She held me in her lap and healed all of the injuries. She sang to me so I would not be afraid.” He smiled nostalgically. “Then she started to train me. Climbing first,” he added, chuckling. “THEN healing.” Mel laughed and shook her head. “And she told me to surround myself with people I could trust and depend on, since I was obviously going to be in constant need of rescuing...” He shook his head, laughing along with Mel. “She was insightful,” he noted. “I HAVE been in almost constant need of rescue ever since.” His laughter died and his smile faded, replaced by a serious expression. “I am lucky I found you. Without your help, your rescue, I never could have managed here...” Mel looked up, startled by his abrupt shift in mood. He was eyeing her with much of the same intensity as he had been on the roof earlier, and she was suddenly unable to regard it as being anything but right and natural. It was frightening, but it felt right, too. “I... I wanted to turn and run the first time I saw you,” she whispered. “My head was telling me to just get out of that situation.” She shrugged. “But I couldn’t. God knows I tried, but...” She shook her head. “How do you walk away from that which is meant to be?” he whispered. “I felt drawn to you as well. When you left me at the train yard, I followed my instinct all the way here, to you. I didn’t know how, but I knew I would find you and that you would help.” He took her hands in his. “I had no idea how much you would do for me. I couldn’t have begun to hope for so much, but I still KNEW that I would be safe in your hands...” “I... I never realized you had so much faith in me,” she whispered. “More faith than I know words to express, even now.” He smiled gratefully down at her. “Mel... I would be lost without you.” “I... I don’t think about you as the kind of guy who needs someone else...” He smiled and shook his head. “Everyone needs help at times. Sometimes, what they really need is someone to care about, someone who cares about them.” “Well, you definitely have someone who cares about you,” she whispered. “And someone I care about.” Cole inhaled deeply, his expression thoughtful. “Cole?” Mel asked, staring up at him. “I want to kiss you, Mel,” he whispered. “But I’m scared to.” Mel stared at him with wide eyes, stunned by the admission. “You don’t have to be scared,” she managed finally. “Not of me. Not of US...” He closed his eyes, nodding. “It’s been a long time. I’d forgotten what it feels like to be so...” He shook his head. “Never mind, Mel.” “What?” she pressed. “Come on, Cole. It’s okay.” “I feel like a boy in love for the first time, Mel.” He shook his head, his expression wry. “I’ve been a father, I’ve been a husband, I have crossed the universe... and I am nervous about a simple touch.” “No you aren’t,” Mel whispered, reaching up and cradling his face in her hands. “You’re not nervous about kissing me. You’re nervous about what it means and what it might lead to.” He smiled and nodded faintly, savoring the feel of her hands on his face. “You’re right, Mel. There’s so much to consider, so many possible outcomes.” “I only see one,” she told him firmly. “How’d you put it? I’m yours and you’re mine. I think we’re past the point of denying that we have a very powerful connection, Cole. I mean, if you’re not ready yet, I understand, but--” “I am ready,” he interrupted quickly. “I am unsure about many things, but not about this one...” Mel smiled warmly up at him, tears in her eyes. “So how’s this work? What’s next?” “I...” He shook his head, pausing. “I would like to kiss you, Mel,” he declared finally. “So kiss me,” she suggested, smiling encouragingly. “And then?” he asked, cupping her face in his hands. “Mel, this is something we must consider...” “What happens will happen, Cole. We love each other. We don’t have to think this thing to death.” “What happens will happen,” he repeated, frowning faintly. “But will it happen between two humans or two Cirronians, Mel?” “Wh...” Mel stared up at him with wide eyes. “You mean... uh, I mean... uh... wow...” She shook her head, flustered. “You see, Mel? This IS something that must be considered,” he murmured, giving her throat a reassuring caress. “Not something I had considered much before now, honestly. I had always assumed that I would have to adapt to the human way.” “But... now you don’t think so?” she managed, her voice shaking in spite of the soothing energy he was releasing into her. Cole shook his head, smiling faintly. “Now I am certain that we could share a fully Cirronian joining, Mel.” “How?” “I started to suspect it during our hallucination together, Mel. Your energy yielded to mine so easily, as if your body craved it.” “Yeah, well...” She bowed her head, embarrassed. “My body was craving quite a few things just then,” she murmured. Cole smiled at the admission. “And among them it desired invasion by a foreign life-force, Mel?” he asked gently. She stared up at him with wide eyes. “You WOULD have welcomed it, wouldn’t you?” he continued. “Find a word other than invasion and I’m going to have to say yes,” she whispered, shaking her head. “But...” “There is a natural impulse in all self-aware forms to resist the... introduction of another life-force. Only among Cirronians, only during a joining, is this instinct laid aside.” “But...” She shook her head. “That’s not possible. You told me that two life-forces can’t exist in one body!” “But they CAN when shared between two,” he explained quietly, his expression reverent. “Mine to yours, yours to mine, a perfect and complete mingling of that which makes us who we are...” “Wow,” she whispered, staring up at him with wide eyes. The last time he had described a joining to her, it had sounded beautiful, but not THAT beautiful. Nor so spiritual. That aspect had been completely lost on her the last time, but now she understood what it meant to be a Cirronian better. Having shared in his grief over his wife and daughter, she could infer the rest. He was talking about a complete psychological and emotional Communion between lovers. Between THEM... He saw the understanding in her eyes, felt it in her soul, and smiled. “It is something I have wanted to share with you for more than a year now, Mel,” he confessed. “It sounds so beautiful,” she said, tears in her eyes. “Two hearts become one, Mel. There can be nothing more beautiful,” he agreed, gently smoothing away her tears. “Makes physical intimacy seem absolutely shallow,” she said, shaking her head. “No, Mel,” he argued gently. “There is beauty to be had in that as well. To bring such joy to the one you love is a worthy pursuit.” He paused for a moment, his expression indecisive, before speaking again. “Perhaps our relationship has room for both?” he ventured, his expression hopeful. Mel smiled up at him, shaking her head. Yes, he wanted the real Cirronian thing, but he obviously did not object to the human equivalent, either. Talk about the best of both worlds... “I think you’re right, Cole,” she told him, nodding. “We’ll take turns. You can teach me how Cirronians do these things, and then I can walk you through the human version.” She flushed as she said it, in spite of her own enthusiasm for the idea. “That sounds very nice, Mel,” he agreed eagerly, taking her hands in his. “Can we start now?” END ACT 3 “So, how’s this work?” Mel asked nervously, pacing her bedroom and tugging at the tie of her bathrobe. She may have invited him into her bedroom for the express purpose of making love to him, or whatever Cirronians called it, but she was suddenly feeling incredibly anxious. And, in nothing but her underwear and a short bathrobe, with Cole still fully clothed, she felt naked and exposed, vulnerable. “It works best if you are not nervous,” Cole answered gently, shaking his head sadly as he watched her pace. “You must banish fear or your life-force will resist the joining. There can be no pleasure without trust.” “I’m sorry, Cole. I’m not scared OF you, it’s just this whole new, different...” She trailed off, shaking her head. “The first time is always frightening,” he agreed, nodding his understanding. “On many levels, Mel. I can calm some of your anxieties, but not all.” He stepped in front of her, forestalling her pacing and taking her hands in his. “This is alien to you, and that alone must make you very afraid.” She nodded faintly, her expression apologetic. “I’m sorry, but I... I trust you completely, Cole, you HAVE to know that, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m scared, either.” “You do not know what to expect,” he said, walking to the bed and gently pulling her with him. “Sit and I will explain. Maybe then you will fear less.” She smiled weakly up at him. “Thanks, Cole. I appreciate it.” She sat on the edge of the bed, gesturing for him to sit with her. He sat down next to her and turned to face her, tenderly caressing her throat, releasing soothing energy. “It is a simple thing, Mel. I will make you ready--” “How?” “With my energy. Like the kind you produced on the roof, Mel. It is VERY powerful. It allows your body to accept the presence of another life-force.” He paused, considering. “It is not like human mating, not physical...” “So I gathered,” she agreed quietly. “But there are many sensations that you will experience. It is hard to describe, but when our life-forces begin to come together, it will be like... like a caress, very gentle at first, hesitant almost.” “At first?” she asked. He nodded. “Perhaps it does have some similarities to human mating behaviors. Foreplay, I think Doctor Sullivan called it at the seminar. The sharing becomes less hesitant and gradually more intense, until...” He paused, searching his mind for an appropriate word. “Completion.” “Completion?” she repeated, smiling faintly at his use of the term. It could definitely have been taken more than one way. “Completion is... when two become one. We complete each other. We give of ourselves equally to the other and when we do...” “Then it happens,” Mel whispered, nodding. “That perfect balance of opposite energies.” “Yes, Mel,” he breathed, nodding and closing his eyes, savoring the prospect of sharing that moment in time with his Mel. “It sounds beautiful, Cole.” “It is,” he agreed readily. His smile faded slightly and he regarded her uncertainly. “But... it can be frightening as well, especially if you have never experienced it before.” “How can something so beautiful be frightening?” “The moment itself is not. That is only beautiful. You lose yourself in that moment, in the soul of your partner. What is frightening is the awareness that this is happening.” She shook her head. “I don’t understand.” “You lose who you are in the face of what you are about to become. There is a moment in time when you are no longer you. And, before that, there is a realization that this is happening. You feel your sense of self slipping away from you. The harder you cling to it, the worse your fear becomes.” Mel blinked once at his tone. That was the voice of experience speaking, she was sure. “What happens then?” “The joining fails. It is considered the worst possible omen for a marriage when the first joining is unsuccessful.” He closed his eyes, reluctant to tell her that his own fear had made his first joining with Nallia a failure, that a second attempt had been necessary some hours later after a long pep-talk from her father and several other relatives of hers. He was not a superstitious man, but he did not want his first joining with Mel to fail that way either, not after how his marriage to Nallia had ended. Mel sensed his emotions and guessed at their cause. Looking into his soul, reading his emotions, and divining their cause had become easier and easier in recent days, especially since the night Cole had wept for Nallia and Mel had wept right along with him. Some bond had been forged between them, she felt, and she felt no desire to question that. It was a beautiful thing and she was afraid that if she examined it too closely, she might lose it. “Then we’d better make sure I’m not afraid,” she whispered, smiling reassuringly up at him. “Tell me about it. What’s it like, losing yourself like that?” “You feel... weak, empty, vulnerable. And when you begin to feel your partner’s energy more strongly than your own, you fear it will overwhelm your.” “Which would kill you?” Mel asked. He nodded. “Joinings do not result in death, but the fear is instinctive.” “But obviously the end result is worth that fear or Cirronians wouldn’t keep making more little Cirronians, right?” she asked. “I mean, you and Nallia did join more than once, right?” “Yes, Mel. Once you overcome your fear, surrender becomes release. It can be pleasurable in its own right.” “Cole,” she whispered. He regarded her wordlessly, his expression questioning. “I am NOT afraid. If that’s what you’re worried about, you don’t have to be. My trust in you is absolute. You say it’s not dangerous and I believe you.” “I would never do anything to put you in danger, Mel.” “I know,” she whispered, smiling up at him. “Let’s do this.” “You do not have to be undressed,” he told her as she reached for the tie of her robe. “Unless you wish to be. Very little body-contact is actually required. If you will feel more comfortable, you can keep that on.” “Surrender becomes release,” she murmured, shedding the robe and turning to face him. Her trust in his was absolute, and this was a symbolic way of showing that. To both of them. “Are we standing up or lying down?” “Lying down will be more comfortable for you,” he said, pulling off his shirt quickly and drinking in the sight of her. He had seen her in her underwear before, of course, but never like this, giving herself to him. Mel nodded and climbed onto the bed, stretching out on her back. Cole chuckled softly as he moved to join her. “Lay on your side, Mel. Facing me,” he corrected her gently. “Oh, sorry. It’s a human thing...” she explained, rolling onto her side. “I know,” he said, sidling close to her and pulling her head down until her forehead rested against his. He gave her a quick kiss before reaching for her throat. “Mmm, I like this already,” she whispered when he broke off the kiss. “What now?” Her question trailed off into a gasp as Cole released a burst of white-hot energy into her throat. Suddenly her entire body felt as if it were engulfed in flame. And it felt GOOD... She reached out reflexively, clinging to him as he continued to release blue-white energy into her throat. The act itself may not have been physical in the traditional sense, but there was no denying the effect those energies were having on her body, either. Clutching his shoulders, pulling his chest against hers, she was not even aware that she was also releasing energy into him. “God,” she managed, her voice shaking. “This is...” “The beginning,” he finished for her when she faltered, his own voice quavering as much as hers. “Only the beginning,” he whispered, closing his eyes and pulling her into a tight hug. The transfer of energy could continue now without conscious effort, leaving him free to focus on the woman in his arms. Mel closed her own eyes as well, smiling at the feel of his bare chest against her over-sensitized skin. That sensation riveted so much of her attention that she was unaware at first of the gentle touch of Cole’s energy as it flowed into her body. He had been right on both counts, she realized. It did feel like the tender caress of a lover, and almost no real physical contact was necessary. That they were clinging to each other did not change the fact that his energy was entering her body only through their touching foreheads. She sighed softly, enjoying the almost ticklish ebb and flow of his energy into her body. He had been right about the influx of energy gradually becoming more intense and less hesitant as well, she realized. If that early energy had been the tentative, ticklish caresses of a first-time lover, this new energy was definitely that of a VERY skilled man. She could almost feel it wrapping itself around her own energy, embracing it as he was embracing her, drawing her energy into itself. Definitely not unlike the progression of human foreplay into lovemaking even if the forum was different. She relaxed into his arms, waiting for what would come next. When it did come, she was suddenly well-able to see why he had warned her that the experience could be frightening. Thoughts and feelings, even memories, none of which were her own, were suddenly edging their way into her awareness, replacing hers, and she was starting to feel increasingly detached from her own body. Surrender becomes release, she reminded herself firmly. Cole would never lie to her and he certainly would not do anything that might harm her. She felt every bit as vulnerable as he had said she would, but she refused to give in to that feeling. In Cole’s arms, she was safe. It was not the first time she had willingly made herself vulnerable to him and no bad had ever come of those times. Surrender DID become a form of release as, for the first time in her adult life, she gave herself completely and freely over to another. It felt good to have someone to rely on, someone to trust in, someone to protect and love her as she loved him. There was a moment’s disorientation as she found herself mentally reaffirming her love for the woman in her arms, until she recognized the thought as Cole’s. I love her, she thought, smiling widely. And I never have to fight or deny myself again because she loves me as well and now we are one. And then, abruptly, a mental image of a woman she recognized even though she had never laid eyes on her, a Cirronian woman, telling her that she had been meant to find her remarkable human, and then saying goodbye. Saying goodbye herself. Goodbye to the beautiful, teasing Nallia, and doing so without any grief, only acceptance. She knew that Cole must have been receiving a similar bird’s eye view of her past relationships, but did not care because he could also feel her love for him, exactly as she could feel his for her. It was beautiful enough to bring tears to her eyes. In an instant, all conscious thought ceased, replaced by a blinding burst of light and raw emotion, love at its most pure and unadulterated, love powerful enough to make her weep. And a sense that she would never in her life be alone again. We will never be alone again. Those words ricocheted around in both of their minds, thought by both and by neither, affirming that which had been denied to them for too long, assuring each that the other was as sincere in their devotion as they were. Sobbing from joy, they continued to cling to each other long after the glow had faded, falling asleep in each other’s arms. END ACT 4 Mel was startled to wake first, but greatly pleased to find herself still securely cradled against Cole’s chest. Moving carefully so as not to wake him, she grabbed a blanket and pulled it over them, then snuggled into his embrace again, closing her eyes and enjoying his warmth and his scent and her memories of their joining. Never in her life had she felt anything so intensely as she had felt her love for Cole, even before her joining. Never in her life had she expected anyone else to feel as strongly about her. Yet Cole did: she knew that now, beyond all doubt. Her grandmother had been right. Some people just DID complete each other. Complete each other... She wondered if her grandmother had not picked up that turn of phrase from her own Cirronian love. Mel understood now that the completion in question had nothing to do with the physical acts associated with love by humans. She and Cole DID complete each other, spiritually and emotionally. “Taushi,” his voice murmured, startling her out of her reflections. “Good morning,” she greeted him, not particularly inclined to move. Since he did not seem inclined to do so either, she snuggled closer instead. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?” “Like a rock. You, too, I guess?” “Joinings are draining things,” he explained. “But we should be ready for another one in a few weeks.” “A few WEEKS?” she asked, disappointed. “Yes, Mel. Overindulgence is unhealthy. It draws energy from necessary body functions as well as making it difficult to use one’s powers.” “Okay, so once every few weeks,” she agreed, nodding. “But, God, Cole, I will be waiting eagerly for next time.” “You were not afraid,” he noted, pleased. “No. I took your advice. Surrender IS release. I’m not used to putting myself completely in the hands of others, but I think that’s mainly because there just aren’t that many I trust that far. With you, it actually feels good.” He smiled and kissed the top of her head. “We are One now,” he began hesitantly. “I know.” She smiled up at him. “And I like that idea an awful lot...” “I’m glad, Taushi.” “What’s that mean?” she asked, glancing curiously up at him. “It is a Cirronian endearment, Mel. Loosely, it means ‘my love’. Literally, it is ‘the other half of my soul’.” “It’s more than fitting. It’s beautiful.” She reach up, catching his face in her hands and drawing it down to hers. “Kiss me, Tausha,” she ordered. TEASER Used to the climb up the fire escape though she was, the heat of the day left Mel panting by the time she reached the roof. Cole was already there, running through a Kata. She sat and watched him with a smile, wondering if she would EVER be capable of the grace and serenity that seemed to come to Cole naturally. In the Cirronian’s hands, the Kata became physical poetry. Cole finished and turned to face her, his serene expression replaced by a smile. “Hello, Mel,” he greeted her, stretching and arching his back. “I brought up a thermos of lemonade,” she offered, pouring some and trying to ignore the view offered by his stretching. It did not help that his clothes were clinging to his sweaty body. “I figured as warm as it is, we could both use something to drink.” “That sounds nice,” he agreed, crouching in front of her and accepting the offered cup. He took a long sip and refilled it before offering it to her. “You’re stronger today,” he noted as she drank, pleased. “I feel worlds better,” she agreed, capping the thermos again and rising. “So, what’re you teaching me today?” she asked. “It’s time to learn how to manipulate your energy, Mel.” “I can already do that, though,” she pointed out, frowning faintly. “Springing locks and healing injuries are not enough,” Cole told her. “These are only two applications of many. Others require different forms of manipulation,” he explained. “Come,” he added, gesturing for her to follow. She nodded faintly and followed him across the roof to a shady spot with a blanket spread out to sit on. As she settled herself, Cole produced a candle, placing it between them as he sat. As Mel regarded it curiously, he spoke. “Tell me about the sun, Mel.” “Wh... what about it?” she asked, frowning uncertainly. “What is it?” “A star?” she ventured. He smiled faintly, nodding. “It is. And what are stars made of?” “Uh... hydrogen?” His smile widened at her flustered attempt to try to divine his meaning. “Fire, Mel. Stars are masses of fire.” “Okay.” She nodded. “Fire is very important to Cirronians, Mel. Fire gives us life.” Mel flushed slightly at the intensity of his tone. She knew from the hallucination they had shared that fire carried sexual symbolism for Cirronians in addition to its other important roles in Cirronian society. “No Cirronian household is complete without a fire burning there,” Cole continued quietly. “This flame burns always. When a man and woman marry, flame is taken from her family home to burn in the new hearth. It symbolizes the warmth and affection between a couple, the continuation of generations, the Cirronian soul... Many things.” “Okay,” she murmured, committing this information to memory. Training sessions with Cole often included lessons in Cirronian philosophy and Cirronian life in general. Though little of it was important to the lessons in any way she could see, Mel cherished these pieces of wisdom as a way to better know and understand Cole. And, ultimately, herself as well. “But fire has different aspects. Hwa’an and Hva’an,” he explained. Reaching for the candle, he caught the wick between his thumb and forefinger. When he removed his hand, the candle was lit. “Hwa’an is the flame from which life comes. Hva’an is the flame which devours.” He glanced up at her, smiling when he saw understanding in her eyes. “Every fire has both. Cirronians have a saying: devouring fire still brings warmth and light.” “Every cloud has a silver lining.” “Yes, Mel.” He smiled faintly. “But the meaning runs far deeper than this. Because fire IS what it is to be a Cirronian. Give me your hand.” Mel obediently slipped her hand into his when he extended them, smiling faintly when she felt warm energy enveloping it. “You feel that?” “Yeah. It’s nice.” He grinned broadly at that, pleased that she enjoyed the feel of his energy. It was promising. “This is my energy as it exists without manipulation,” he explained. “It can be used to heal, or to open locks, or to fix broken electronics. Or it can be used to cause harm,” he added quietly, releasing her hand. “The same energy, used and channeled in a different way.” “It’s the same?” she repeated, startled. “The energy you use to heal and what you use to fight?” He nodded. “Most Cirronians never learn to use their energy for offensive purposed. It is very difficult. And many consider it to be untrue to what it means to be Cirronian...” “But YOU use your energy to fight,” she pointed out. “I do,” he agreed quietly, his expression grave. “I accepted long ago that Hva’an truly IS an aspect of Hwa’an. If I had not, I would not be able to use my energy in this way. You may not be able to, but I would like you to try. You will be far safer if you can learn this.” Mel did not hesitate. “Okay, Cole. Let’s do it.” END TEASER Mel sat across from Cole on the roof, the only light on the moonless night provided by the slight, golden glow spilling from her cupped hands. “Good, Mel,” the Cirronian murmured. “Now make it healing energy,” he directed. She nodded faintly, closing her eyes and concentrating. Generating healing energy had become easy enough when there was a real need for it, but she was finding it almost impossible to conjure up on demand in the course of the lesson. “No, Mel,” Cole interrupted gently. “You’re trying too hard. Just allow it to happen...” “I can’t!” she complained, opening her eyes and shaking her head. The glow faded out abruptly. “Besides, this isn’t even the point of the lesson.” “It is a part of the learning process. Try again.” Muttering in frustration, she closed her eyes and tried again. She jumped when she felt Cole’s hand on her arm. “It’s okay, Mel,” he murmured, giving her a gentle smile. “Look at me,” he directed. She nodded faintly, regarding him uncertainly. “This is a part of you, Mel. You can do this. You HAVE done it. Healing is an act of love, Mel. Feel that. Find that in yourself and you will find that which allows you to heal.” “Love,” she repeated quietly. Licking her lips, she glanced down at his hand on her arm. Feel love? Easy enough with Cole’s hand resting lightly on her arm, him smiling gently at her, encouraging her, sitting so close that she could feel his heat and smell his smell. The glow in her hands changed color abruptly, shifting from pale gold to an electric blue-white. Cole jumped backwards, staring at her with wide eyes. His eyes flicked from her face to the energy between her hands and back again. Mel felt more than saw the glow fade. Her eyes were fixed on Cole, his expression a combination of surprise and... desire? “Not that kind of love, Mel,” he told her, his voice shaking. “That is... different.” “Different?” she repeated, shifting uneasily. She did not need Cole’s next words to confirm her suspicion, not after New Year’s Eve. “That is the color of... physical love, Mel,” he explained quietly, lifting his hand to her throat. “Who were you thinking about?” “What makes you think I was... thinking about anyone?” she asked quietly, not looking at him. “Mel,” he whispered, gently pushing her chin up. “Were you thinking about ME?” he asked, making no effort to keep the hope from his voice or expression. She swallowed hard and closed her eyes, nodding once. “Good,” he said, causing her eyes to shoot open. He smiled shyly and gave an apologetic shrug. “I’ve been wondering how to... approach this subject with you, Mel.” “Approach this subject?” she repeated quietly, shaking her head. He could not possibly mean what she thought he meant. Could he? He nodded faintly. “Yes, Mel,” he murmured, leaning towards her. “I love you, Mel.” “You...” She felt her eyes fill with tears and cursed herself for the timing. “Mel,” he whispered in concern, gathering her into his arms and hugging her to his chest. He closed his eyes, smiling. “You’re happy,” he breathed. “You are happy...” “Yes, yes I am,” she answered, nodding and wrapping her arms around him. “God, Cole, I’ve wanted to hear that from you for so long.” “I’ll never make you wait to hear it again,” he promised. “I was scared before.” “You aren’t scared of anything.” “Everyone has SOME fears, Mel. Mine was that I would lose one more person I loved.” “And that doesn’t scare you any more?” “It scares me more than there are words for, but...” He shook his head. “I can’t deny my own feelings any more, either. With your permission, I wish to live the rest of my life by your side.” “Just like that?” she asked, staring at him. “I mean...” She shook her head in confusion. “Where is this coming from, Cole?” He took one of her hands in his and lifted it to his heart. “It comes from here. I love you. I had to accept that Nallia was gone before I could admit that to myself. And I had to... stop letting my fear dictate my actions.” “But you ARE afraid,” Mel pointed out quietly. “I can feel it in you.” “I am afraid, Mel,” he admitted. “But not at the thought of living my life by your side...” He smiled shyly. “I meant every word I said when we took the Dwenyah Ordí together, Mel. Every word: I love you, Mel, and my heart is yours if you will have it...” Mel closed her eyes and nodded, reaching blindly for him. “I love you, Cole. I do.” He held her close and buried his face in her hair. “You make my heart glad.” They knelt there, just holding each other, for what could have been minutes or hours, until Mel reluctantly pulled away. “We should either finish this lesson or... uh, go inside.” She flushed and bowed her head. She had not meant to imply what her words could have been construed as implying. Cole smiled faintly, amused at her discomfiture. Unable to resist teasing her a little, he asked gently, “And what will we do once we HAVE gone inside, Mel?” Her head shot up and she regarded him with wide eyes. “Cole, I... uh...” His smile turned reassuring and he shook his head. “When you are ready, Mel, I will be waiting,” he promised. “There is no hurry,” he assured her. “Our souls became one the day we spoke those vows. That no one else heard them means nothing. I am yours; you are mine. The rest can wait.” She smiled adoringly at him. “You are amazing...” He smiled back, his expression that of a man admiring a beautiful painting. “We should continue your lesson,” he suggested gently. “You will require rest soon.” “I seem to need less every day,” she noted quietly, cupping her hands and calling up a small measure of energy. “As your training progresses, much that was latent in you awakens,” he explained. “You’re saying that I’m becoming more Cirronian?” she asked, regarding him with wide eyes. “Yes, Mel.” He nodded. “You will always be human, but you are now also Cirronian. Does this trouble you?” “No,” she answered honestly, shaking her head. “I... I feel like I’m... getting back something I lost a long time ago.” “This is exactly what you are doing, Mel. And it is BEAUTIFUL.” She flushed and bowed her head. “So are you,” he continued quietly. “Will you show me again what happens to your energy when you think of me?” he asked hopefully. “Uh... I can try.” She nodded and closed her eyes, concentrating on thoughts of Cole. His caresses and kiss at the Newlywed seminar last year. New Year’s Eve, holding him and being kissed by him. The camping trip, sleeping in his arms. A thousand little touches and caresses, surreptitiously given when no one was looking. Their shared hallucination, curling up with him every night on the couch, kissing him at the wedding. What might have been afterwards if the hallucination had continued that long. It was this last thought, imagining Cole taking her into his arms and making love to her through the night, that did it. She felt the energy in her hands change, heard Cole’s reverential “Beautiful...” When she opened her eyes to look at him, his expression was once more a combination of awe and desire, and his hand hovered over the blue-white glow, shaking. “What does it feel like?” Mel asked quietly, watching the conflict in his expression. He wanted to touch her hands, to experience that energy. “It is... glorious beyond words, Mel.” He smiled and gave a faint shrug. “It can only be experienced, not described.” His smile turning shy, he added, “It is the first step in a Cirronian joining.” “Oh!” Mel murmured, her eyes widening. The glow faded immediately, earning a smile from Cole. “What?” “It is important to be calm or a joining can not take place.” Mel could not help but smile in response to that. “Well, that rules that out for me, doesn’t it?” she joked. “Not forever,” he promised, taking her hands in his. “I know MANY ways to make you calm,” he reminded her, lightly caressing her throat and releasing soothing energy. “Yes, you do,” she murmured, closing her eyes and letting her head fall back. “Show me your healing energy,” he ordered, still stroking her throat. “Good,” he murmured, nodding as the golden glow shifted hue slightly. “Now for offensive energies... Banish anger and fear from your mind. These will make it difficult to control the energy. It is dangerous. You must keep your emotions steady.” “Right,” she agreed quietly, not sure how she could possibly feel anything resembling anger or fear when Cole was sitting there caressing her sensitive Cirronian throat. “Good,” he breathed. “Now, keeping yourself calm, think about the day you saved Isabel. Remember that need to protect her. Remember the instincts that guided you in saving her. Not any desire to cause harm, just a need to PROTECT.” Mel inhaled deeply, nodding and calling to mind that day. The day she had discovered her innate ability to open Hyperspeed. That had been self-defense. Everything else that day had been in defense of another. The need to keep Isabel safe had been overwhelming, a compulsion that had run soul-deep. “Good, Mel,” Cole murmured, nodding as the golden glow shifted to a pale red. “Violence for violence’s own sake is a terrible sin, but in the defense of another, it must be excused. The use of force may be justified. ONLY to protect ourselves or others can we use force. You have more power in you than you can possibly imagine. You can fight with it. Look at it, Mel. FEEL it.” Mel opened her eyes and stared down at her hand, startled to see the energy glowing red. Her hand tingled and her entire arm with it, right up to her shoulder. She could feel the energy sparking and racing up and down her arm, building in power. “Cole?” she asked uneasily. “What now?” Cole rose and walked across the roof, picking up a target cut from heavy cardboard and propping it up. He had cut it that afternoon, after Mel had agreed to this aspect of her training. “Now, Mel, you use what you have,” he told her, nodding encouragingly. “How?” she asked, frowning at the burning sensation that was beginning to form in her arm, intensifying. “Throw it away,” he directed. “It’s just like throwing a ball.” Mel nodded and took a deep breath, refusing to let herself feel silly as she wound back and made a throwing motion with her empty hand. She yelped and jumped backwards as the target burst into flames. END ACT 1 “Very good, Mel,” Cole told her, beaming as he reached out to steady her. “I’ve never seen anyone do so well on their first try.” “I think I burned my hand,” she answered, shaking it. “Here, Mel, let me see.” He gently took her hand in his, probing tenderly and releasing healing energy. “Thanks, Cole.” She smiled up at him. “That’s better.” “How do you feel?” he asked. “Good. I’m good.” She smiled widely, feeling the exhilaration that came with learning a new skill and making Cole proud at the same time. “Not weak at all?” he asked, eyeing her with concern. She shook her head, smiling reassuringly. “No. In fact, I feel great.” “That’s good, Mel.” He smiled at her. “We should go inside now.” “And what will we do once we have gone inside, Cole?” Mel bantered, smiling at him. Cole smiled faintly, shaking his head. “What would YOU like to do, Mel?” he murmured, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close. “I want to talk to you,” she told him quietly, grinning. “After THAT, who knows?” He smiled down at her, raising an eyebrow. “I have a few ideas, Mel,” he announced gravely. “I’ll bet you do...” she answered, grinning. “Come on, Cole.” Cole obediently took her hand and followed her to the fire-escape, climbing down first and, when she reached the bottom, wrapping his hands around her waist and helping her down. Smiling up at him and feeling easy and relaxed, she wrapped her arm around his waist as they walked up the stairs. *** Mark sighed softly, glancing into Jess’ bedroom. She was asleep, Kate snoozing next to her. Since her father’s death, Jess had a hard time sleeping alone. After two or three nights, Mark had suggested that Kate occasionally take over that duty. He simply enjoyed holding Jess in his arms all night far too much. Kate rolled over, opening her eyes and looking at him. “Hey, Dads. You want to take over?” she yawned. He shook his head faintly. “Go back to sleep, Kitten,” he advised. “In a minute,” she said quietly, slipping out of the bed and walking to join him at the door. She looked up at him, shaking her head. “I approve, you know.” “You...” He shook his head, regarding her blankly. “You and Jess, Dads. You make a nice couple.” “We are NOT a couple,” he told her firmly. “You’d still make a nice one,” she said, shrugging and standing on her toes to kiss his cheek. “Love you, Dads. Night.” Patting his shoulder, she turned and walked to her room. Mark stared after her, shaking his head. He turned at the sound of Jess stirring restlessly. Still asleep, she was reaching out for someone in the empty bed. Sighing, he pulled off his robe, dropping it on the chair and climbing into the bed with her. Mumbling in her sleep, she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. “You’re too young for this,” he sighed, wrapping his arms around her. This had NOT been what he had in mind when he had expressed a desire to Jay to have someone to hold at night. No woman should have to deal with the things she’d had to, not ever. Especially not a woman like Jess who was, for all of her troubles, a vital, happy person. Some of that happiness had been killed forever with the death of her father, he knew. He could only hope that they could salvage what was left of it. Tears in his eyes for everything she had lost, he tightened his hold on her, burying his face in her hair. “We’ll get you through this,” he whispered, cradling her close. “We will.” “Thanks, Mark,” she yawned, half-opening her eyes. “Where’s Kate?” “Her room. Want me to go get her?” he offered. She shook her head, closing her eyes again and snuggling close. “You’re warmer than she is. And bigger.” He smiled faintly, shaking his head. “Go back to sleep, Hwa’i.” “You keep calling me that. What’s it mean?” “Go back to sleep,” he repeated gently. “‘Kay, Mark,” she mumbled, her eyes drifting shut. Sighing, Mark held her close until he could sense she was asleep. After only a few minutes, though, she stirred in her sleep, reaching out and calling for her father. “Hush, Jessica,” he murmured. “It’s okay, Hwa’i. You’re okay...” “Leave him alone!” Jess whimpered in her sleep, shaking her head violently. Mark closed his eyes, shaking his head. The nightmares had been a nightly occurrence since Richard’s death. Inhaling deeply, he gave her a sharp shake. She awoke with a yelp, staring fearfully around. “I’m here,” he assured her quietly. “I’m here.” She nodded wordlessly, closing her eyes and biting her lower lip. “Would you like to talk about it?” he asked quietly. She shook her head. “Just put me to sleep, okay? No dreams?” “If you want,” he murmured. “I do. Just please put me to sleep now. I... I just want to rest.” “All right, Hwa’i. It’ll be okay. I’m here. Sleep well,” he murmured, passing his hand in front of her face and releasing sedative energy. “What now?” he whispered, staring at the sleeping woman in his arms. “I can’t be in love with you,” he explained, shaking his head. “I just... I can’t.” “You trying to convince her or yourself?” Kate asked gently from the door. “Get some sleep, Dads. You look like you could use it, too.” She turned and was gone before he could respond to either comment. Shaking his head, Mark closed his eyes and struggled to sleep. His dreams, when they came, were memories. ~~~ “Oh, hi, Dad,” Mark greeted his father, closing his textbook and sitting up on the bed. “What’s up?” “Your mother thinks we should talk,” Allan explained, entering the bedroom and closing the door. “About this Bridget woman you’ve been spending so much time with.” “Dad, I’m a little old for you to be giving me The Talk,” Mark pointed out, flushing and bowing his head. “Besides, I took basic biology. I know how it works...” “Good,” Allan answered easily, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Considering that it was your mother who had to explain these things to me, and the fact that I still feel like I’m learning half the time, I might not be the best one to instruct you on that particular aspect of adult human life,” he pointed out with a grin. “Fair enough, Dad,” Mark agreed, nodding. “Then what’s up? If this is the lecture about taking precautions--” Allan shook his head. “Marcus, you’re a smart young man. Your mother and I know this. And we do not plan on pretending for one second that in this day and age you do not know as much or MORE about these things than we do. We just want to know if you love this woman.” “I... I’m falling for her, yeah.” He nodded faintly. “I mean, that’s not a problem, is it? You and Mom both like her, right?” “Yes.” Allan nodded. “She is a beautiful and charming young woman, Mark. You’ll be very happy together, I can tell.” “Just like that?” Mark asked, grinning faintly at the certainty in his father’s voice. “Cirronians have a way of knowing these things. That’s why I need to talk to you.” “I don’t get it.” Allan smiled and shook his head. “No, I suppose you don’t yet.” He sighed thoughtfully, considering before speaking. “When I came here, Mark, I never intended to fall in love with your mother. I was just here to watch over her and keep her safe. As your presence here proves, the Fates had other plans...” Mark nodded wordlessly, knowing that his father was getting at something by his unusually grave tone and expression. “I fell in love with her before I knew what was happening. It was horrifying.” “Horrifying?” Mark repeated, startled. “Beyond words,” Allan assured him honestly. “And THAT is what I wanted to talk to you about.” “I don’t understand, Dad.” “Love, Mark. No matter what you read or hear, nothing can prepare you for it. It takes your feet out from under you, brings you to your knees. It changes the entire course of your life. It changes YOU.” Allan reached across the bed, taking his son’s hands in his. “I’m not saying this is a bad thing. It isn’t. But it is... unexpected and frightening and... exhilarating.” He shook his head. “But you need to understand exactly how scary it can be, too, that it will change you and affect your judgment and leave you reeling. People can get hurt.” “Bridget would never hurt me, Dad,” Mark assured him. “I know that. But people still get hurt. Loving someone makes it easier to be hurt by them.” “Are you saying I shouldn’t fall in love?” Mark asked, frowning. “Not at all. Love is a glorious, fulfilling thing, Mark. Physical or otherwise, it COMPLETES a person. But there’s pain to be had from it, too, and that can be very hard to reconcile with something so beautiful. Love is like fire.” “It gives life, but it can still burn you,” Mark murmured. “Devouring fire still brings warmth and light...” “Exactly.” Alan nodded and squeezed Mark’s shoulder. “Is it worth it, Dad?” Mark asked quietly. “Every second of every day, pain and all, it is worth it. When every breath you draw reaffirms how wonderful it is to be alive, it is MORE than worth it, son.” Mark smiled faintly, nodding. “Thanks, Dad. I think that has to be the most effective facts of life lecture in human history...” “Then my work here is done,” Allan informed him with a grin, rising and bowing. “Which reminds me, there is a very lovely young woman downstairs who would like a moment of your time.” “Bridget? She’s early.” “Is she?” Allan glanced at his watch. “Ah, so she is.” He paused for a moment and then grinned at his son. “Which is the other thing I wanted to mention to you today. Being in love plays hell with your perception of time...” END ACT 2 “How did you learn all this?” Mel asked, handing Cole a cup of tea and settling down on the couch next to him. “Do they teach Cirronian children this stuff in school?” “No, Mel.” He smiled and shook his head. “School is to learn about our world. Family teaches us about ourselves.” “Oh. So your parents taught you?” Cole’s smile did not fade, but it turned sad. “I was young when they died, too young to have been trained yet. My sister taught me.” “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t know...” “How could you know what I’ve never told you?” he asked gently. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, Mel,” he assured her. “My memories of them are happy. There is little grief.” “How did they die?” she asked hesitantly. “There was an accident. The family was returning from Orsus when the living-area of the ship decompressed. Almost two hundred died, my parents and baby sister among them. My sister and I were exploring the hydroponics bay or we would have as well.” “My God, no wonder you hate flying on those things...” Cole shrugged helplessly, not bothering to deny the connection. “Danya raised me after that. The first few years were difficult, but we loved each other. It was enough.” He looked up at Mel, adding reflectively, “We have that in common, being raised by someone other than our parents.” “Yeah, I guess we do. You never mentioned it before.” “It isn’t something I talk about.” Cole shrugged. “It’s not like Nallia’s death. I was still young and idealistic and I accepted it quickly. They were a very positive influence on me while they lived and Danya filled the void afterward.” “She was your sister?” “Yes, Mel. She had just come of age when they died. She was the one who taught me how to heal.” He smiled faintly, his expression sheepish. “She said if I was to be such a little fool as to disobey rules she made for my own safety, she was just going to have to teach me how to repair the damage I did to myself.” Mel could not help but laugh at his words. “What did you DO?” “There was a Mór Nuin tree near our house. Very high. She told me not to go near it, that it was dangerous to climb.” “So you did anyway?” she asked, grinning. It was the kind of thing she would have done as a child. “Of course, Mel. What else?” He smiled and shrugged. “I fell... three stories.” “Oh, my God,” she whispered, staring at him with wide eyes. Cole nodded, grimacing. “I broke both legs and an arm. She could hear me screaming from the house.” He paused for a moment, closing his eyes. “She held me in her lap and healed all of the injuries. She sang to me so I would not be afraid.” He smiled nostalgically. “Then she started to train me. Climbing first,” he added, chuckling. “THEN healing.” Mel laughed and shook her head. “And she told me to surround myself with people I could trust and depend on, since I was obviously going to be in constant need of rescuing...” He shook his head, laughing along with Mel. “She was insightful,” he noted. “I HAVE been in almost constant need of rescue ever since.” His laughter died and his smile faded, replaced by a serious expression. “I am lucky I found you. Without your help, your rescue, I never could have managed here...” Mel looked up, startled by his abrupt shift in mood. He was eyeing her with much of the same intensity as he had been on the roof earlier, and she was suddenly unable to regard it as being anything but right and natural. It was frightening, but it felt right, too. “I... I wanted to turn and run the first time I saw you,” she whispered. “My head was telling me to just get out of that situation.” She shrugged. “But I couldn’t. God knows I tried, but...” She shook her head. “How do you walk away from that which is meant to be?” he whispered. “I felt drawn to you as well. When you left me at the train yard, I followed my instinct all the way here, to you. I didn’t know how, but I knew I would find you and that you would help.” He took her hands in his. “I had no idea how much you would do for me. I couldn’t have begun to hope for so much, but I still KNEW that I would be safe in your hands...” “I... I never realized you had so much faith in me,” she whispered. “More faith than I know words to express, even now.” He smiled gratefully down at her. “Mel... I would be lost without you.” “I... I don’t think about you as the kind of guy who needs someone else...” He smiled and shook his head. “Everyone needs help at times. Sometimes, what they really need is someone to care about, someone who cares about them.” “Well, you definitely have someone who cares about you,” she whispered. “And someone I care about.” Cole inhaled deeply, his expression thoughtful. “Cole?” Mel asked, staring up at him. “I want to kiss you, Mel,” he whispered. “But I’m scared to.” Mel stared at him with wide eyes, stunned by the admission. “You don’t have to be scared,” she managed finally. “Not of me. Not of US...” He closed his eyes, nodding. “It’s been a long time. I’d forgotten what it feels like to be so...” He shook his head. “Never mind, Mel.” “What?” she pressed. “Come on, Cole. It’s okay.” “I feel like a boy in love for the first time, Mel.” He shook his head, his expression wry. “I’ve been a father, I’ve been a husband, I have crossed the universe... and I am nervous about a simple touch.” “No you aren’t,” Mel whispered, reaching up and cradling his face in her hands. “You’re not nervous about kissing me. You’re nervous about what it means and what it might lead to.” He smiled and nodded faintly, savoring the feel of her hands on his face. “You’re right, Mel. There’s so much to consider, so many possible outcomes.” “I only see one,” she told him firmly. “How’d you put it? I’m yours and you’re mine. I think we’re past the point of denying that we have a very powerful connection, Cole. I mean, if you’re not ready yet, I understand, but--” “I am ready,” he interrupted quickly. “I am unsure about many things, but not about this one...” Mel smiled warmly up at him, tears in her eyes. “So how’s this work? What’s next?” “I...” He shook his head, pausing. “I would like to kiss you, Mel,” he declared finally. “So kiss me,” she suggested, smiling encouragingly. “And then?” he asked, cupping her face in his hands. “Mel, this is something we must consider...” “What happens will happen, Cole. We love each other. We don’t have to think this thing to death.” “What happens will happen,” he repeated, frowning faintly. “But will it happen between two humans or two Cirronians, Mel?” “Wh...” Mel stared up at him with wide eyes. “You mean... uh, I mean... uh... wow...” She shook her head, flustered. “You see, Mel? This IS something that must be considered,” he murmured, giving her throat a reassuring caress. “Not something I had considered much before now, honestly. I had always assumed that I would have to adapt to the human way.” “But... now you don’t think so?” she managed, her voice shaking in spite of the soothing energy he was releasing into her. Cole shook his head, smiling faintly. “Now I am certain that we could share a fully Cirronian joining, Mel.” “How?” “I started to suspect it during our hallucination together, Mel. Your energy yielded to mine so easily, as if your body craved it.” “Yeah, well...” She bowed her head, embarrassed. “My body was craving quite a few things just then,” she murmured. Cole smiled at the admission. “And among them it desired invasion by a foreign life-force, Mel?” he asked gently. She stared up at him with wide eyes. “You WOULD have welcomed it, wouldn’t you?” he continued. “Find a word other than invasion and I’m going to have to say yes,” she whispered, shaking her head. “But...” “There is a natural impulse in all self-aware forms to resist the... introduction of another life-force. Only among Cirronians, only during a joining, is this instinct laid aside.” “But...” She shook her head. “That’s not possible. You told me that two life-forces can’t exist in one body!” “But they CAN when shared between two,” he explained quietly, his expression reverent. “Mine to yours, yours to mine, a perfect and complete mingling of that which makes us who we are...” “Wow,” she whispered, staring up at him with wide eyes. The last time he had described a joining to her, it had sounded beautiful, but not THAT beautiful. Nor so spiritual. That aspect had been completely lost on her the last time, but now she understood what it meant to be a Cirronian better. Having shared in his grief over his wife and daughter, she could infer the rest. He was talking about a complete psychological and emotional Communion between lovers. Between THEM... He saw the understanding in her eyes, felt it in her soul, and smiled. “It is something I have wanted to share with you for more than a year now, Mel,” he confessed. “It sounds so beautiful,” she said, tears in her eyes. “Two hearts become one, Mel. There can be nothing more beautiful,” he agreed, gently smoothing away her tears. “Makes physical intimacy seem absolutely shallow,” she said, shaking her head. “No, Mel,” he argued gently. “There is beauty to be had in that as well. To bring such joy to the one you love is a worthy pursuit.” He paused for a moment, his expression indecisive, before speaking again. “Perhaps our relationship has room for both?” he ventured, his expression hopeful. Mel smiled up at him, shaking her head. Yes, he wanted the real Cirronian thing, but he obviously did not object to the human equivalent, either. Talk about the best of both worlds... “I think you’re right, Cole,” she told him, nodding. “We’ll take turns. You can teach me how Cirronians do these things, and then I can walk you through the human version.” She flushed as she said it, in spite of her own enthusiasm for the idea. “That sounds very nice, Mel,” he agreed eagerly, taking her hands in his. “Can we start now?” END ACT 3 “So, how’s this work?” Mel asked nervously, pacing her bedroom and tugging at the tie of her bathrobe. She may have invited him into her bedroom for the express purpose of making love to him, or whatever Cirronians called it, but she was suddenly feeling incredibly anxious. And, in nothing but her underwear and a short bathrobe, with Cole still fully clothed, she felt naked and exposed, vulnerable. “It works best if you are not nervous,” Cole answered gently, shaking his head sadly as he watched her pace. “You must banish fear or your life-force will resist the joining. There can be no pleasure without trust.” “I’m sorry, Cole. I’m not scared OF you, it’s just this whole new, different...” She trailed off, shaking her head. “The first time is always frightening,” he agreed, nodding his understanding. “On many levels, Mel. I can calm some of your anxieties, but not all.” He stepped in front of her, forestalling her pacing and taking her hands in his. “This is alien to you, and that alone must make you very afraid.” She nodded faintly, her expression apologetic. “I’m sorry, but I... I trust you completely, Cole, you HAVE to know that, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m scared, either.” “You do not know what to expect,” he said, walking to the bed and gently pulling her with him. “Sit and I will explain. Maybe then you will fear less.” She smiled weakly up at him. “Thanks, Cole. I appreciate it.” She sat on the edge of the bed, gesturing for him to sit with her. He sat down next to her and turned to face her, tenderly caressing her throat, releasing soothing energy. “It is a simple thing, Mel. I will make you ready--” “How?” “With my energy. Like the kind you produced on the roof, Mel. It is VERY powerful. It allows your body to accept the presence of another life-force.” He paused, considering. “It is not like human mating, not physical...” “So I gathered,” she agreed quietly. “But there are many sensations that you will experience. It is hard to describe, but when our life-forces begin to come together, it will be like... like a caress, very gentle at first, hesitant almost.” “At first?” she asked. He nodded. “Perhaps it does have some similarities to human mating behaviors. Foreplay, I think Doctor Sullivan called it at the seminar. The sharing becomes less hesitant and gradually more intense, until...” He paused, searching his mind for an appropriate word. “Completion.” “Completion?” she repeated, smiling faintly at his use of the term. It could definitely have been taken more than one way. “Completion is... when two become one. We complete each other. We give of ourselves equally to the other and when we do...” “Then it happens,” Mel whispered, nodding. “That perfect balance of opposite energies.” “Yes, Mel,” he breathed, nodding and closing his eyes, savoring the prospect of sharing that moment in time with his Mel. “It sounds beautiful, Cole.” “It is,” he agreed readily. His smile faded slightly and he regarded her uncertainly. “But... it can be frightening as well, especially if you have never experienced it before.” “How can something so beautiful be frightening?” “The moment itself is not. That is only beautiful. You lose yourself in that moment, in the soul of your partner. What is frightening is the awareness that this is happening.” She shook her head. “I don’t understand.” “You lose who you are in the face of what you are about to become. There is a moment in time when you are no longer you. And, before that, there is a realization that this is happening. You feel your sense of self slipping away from you. The harder you cling to it, the worse your fear becomes.” Mel blinked once at his tone. That was the voice of experience speaking, she was sure. “What happens then?” “The joining fails. It is considered the worst possible omen for a marriage when the first joining is unsuccessful.” He closed his eyes, reluctant to tell her that his own fear had made his first joining with Nallia a failure, that a second attempt had been necessary some hours later after a long pep-talk from her father and several other relatives of hers. He was not a superstitious man, but he did not want his first joining with Mel to fail that way either, not after how his marriage to Nallia had ended. Mel sensed his emotions and guessed at their cause. Looking into his soul, reading his emotions, and divining their cause had become easier and easier in recent days, especially since the night Cole had wept for Nallia and Mel had wept right along with him. Some bond had been forged between them, she felt, and she felt no desire to question that. It was a beautiful thing and she was afraid that if she examined it too closely, she might lose it. “Then we’d better make sure I’m not afraid,” she whispered, smiling reassuringly up at him. “Tell me about it. What’s it like, losing yourself like that?” “You feel... weak, empty, vulnerable. And when you begin to feel your partner’s energy more strongly than your own, you fear it will overwhelm your.” “Which would kill you?” Mel asked. He nodded. “Joinings do not result in death, but the fear is instinctive.” “But obviously the end result is worth that fear or Cirronians wouldn’t keep making more little Cirronians, right?” she asked. “I mean, you and Nallia did join more than once, right?” “Yes, Mel. Once you overcome your fear, surrender becomes release. It can be pleasurable in its own right.” “Cole,” she whispered. He regarded her wordlessly, his expression questioning. “I am NOT afraid. If that’s what you’re worried about, you don’t have to be. My trust in you is absolute. You say it’s not dangerous and I believe you.” “I would never do anything to put you in danger, Mel.” “I know,” she whispered, smiling up at him. “Let’s do this.” “You do not have to be undressed,” he told her as she reached for the tie of her robe. “Unless you wish to be. Very little body-contact is actually required. If you will feel more comfortable, you can keep that on.” “Surrender becomes release,” she murmured, shedding the robe and turning to face him. Her trust in his was absolute, and this was a symbolic way of showing that. To both of them. “Are we standing up or lying down?” “Lying down will be more comfortable for you,” he said, pulling off his shirt quickly and drinking in the sight of her. He had seen her in her underwear before, of course, but never like this, giving herself to him. Mel nodded and climbed onto the bed, stretching out on her back. Cole chuckled softly as he moved to join her. “Lay on your side, Mel. Facing me,” he corrected her gently. “Oh, sorry. It’s a human thing...” she explained, rolling onto her side. “I know,” he said, sidling close to her and pulling her head down until her forehead rested against his. He gave her a quick kiss before reaching for her throat. “Mmm, I like this already,” she whispered when he broke off the kiss. “What now?” Her question trailed off into a gasp as Cole released a burst of white-hot energy into her throat. Suddenly her entire body felt as if it were engulfed in flame. And it felt GOOD... She reached out reflexively, clinging to him as he continued to release blue-white energy into her throat. The act itself may not have been physical in the traditional sense, but there was no denying the effect those energies were having on her body, either. Clutching his shoulders, pulling his chest against hers, she was not even aware that she was also releasing energy into him. “God,” she managed, her voice shaking. “This is...” “The beginning,” he finished for her when she faltered, his own voice quavering as much as hers. “Only the beginning,” he whispered, closing his eyes and pulling her into a tight hug. The transfer of energy could continue now without conscious effort, leaving him free to focus on the woman in his arms. Mel closed her own eyes as well, smiling at the feel of his bare chest against her over-sensitized skin. That sensation riveted so much of her attention that she was unaware at first of the gentle touch of Cole’s energy as it flowed into her body. He had been right on both counts, she realized. It did feel like the tender caress of a lover, and almost no real physical contact was necessary. That they were clinging to each other did not change the fact that his energy was entering her body only through their touching foreheads. She sighed softly, enjoying the almost ticklish ebb and flow of his energy into her body. He had been right about the influx of energy gradually becoming more intense and less hesitant as well, she realized. If that early energy had been the tentative, ticklish caresses of a first-time lover, this new energy was definitely that of a VERY skilled man. She could almost feel it wrapping itself around her own energy, embracing it as he was embracing her, drawing her energy into itself. Definitely not unlike the progression of human foreplay into lovemaking even if the forum was different. She relaxed into his arms, waiting for what would come next. When it did come, she was suddenly well-able to see why he had warned her that the experience could be frightening. Thoughts and feelings, even memories, none of which were her own, were suddenly edging their way into her awareness, replacing hers, and she was starting to feel increasingly detached from her own body. Surrender becomes release, she reminded herself firmly. Cole would never lie to her and he certainly would not do anything that might harm her. She felt every bit as vulnerable as he had said she would, but she refused to give in to that feeling. In Cole’s arms, she was safe. It was not the first time she had willingly made herself vulnerable to him and no bad had ever come of those times. Surrender DID become a form of release as, for the first time in her adult life, she gave herself completely and freely over to another. It felt good to have someone to rely on, someone to trust in, someone to protect and love her as she loved him. There was a moment’s disorientation as she found herself mentally reaffirming her love for the woman in her arms, until she recognized the thought as Cole’s. I love her, she thought, smiling widely. And I never have to fight or deny myself again because she loves me as well and now we are one. And then, abruptly, a mental image of a woman she recognized even though she had never laid eyes on her, a Cirronian woman, telling her that she had been meant to find her remarkable human, and then saying goodbye. Saying goodbye herself. Goodbye to the beautiful, teasing Nallia, and doing so without any grief, only acceptance. She knew that Cole must have been receiving a similar bird’s eye view of her past relationships, but did not care because he could also feel her love for him, exactly as she could feel his for her. It was beautiful enough to bring tears to her eyes. In an instant, all conscious thought ceased, replaced by a blinding burst of light and raw emotion, love at its most pure and unadulterated, love powerful enough to make her weep. And a sense that she would never in her life be alone again. We will never be alone again. Those words ricocheted around in both of their minds, thought by both and by neither, affirming that which had been denied to them for too long, assuring each that the other was as sincere in their devotion as they were. Sobbing from joy, they continued to cling to each other long after the glow had faded, falling asleep in each other’s arms. END ACT 4 Mel was startled to wake first, but greatly pleased to find herself still securely cradled against Cole’s chest. Moving carefully so as not to wake him, she grabbed a blanket and pulled it over them, then snuggled into his embrace again, closing her eyes and enjoying his warmth and his scent and her memories of their joining. Never in her life had she felt anything so intensely as she had felt her love for Cole, even before her joining. Never in her life had she expected anyone else to feel as strongly about her. Yet Cole did: she knew that now, beyond all doubt. Her grandmother had been right. Some people just DID complete each other. Complete each other... She wondered if her grandmother had not picked up that turn of phrase from her own Cirronian love. Mel understood now that the completion in question had nothing to do with the physical acts associated with love by humans. She and Cole DID complete each other, spiritually and emotionally. “Taushi,” his voice murmured, startling her out of her reflections. “Good morning,” she greeted him, not particularly inclined to move. Since he did not seem inclined to do so either, she snuggled closer instead. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?” “Like a rock. You, too, I guess?” “Joinings are draining things,” he explained. “But we should be ready for another one in a few weeks.” “A few WEEKS?” she asked, disappointed. “Yes, Mel. Overindulgence is unhealthy. It draws energy from necessary body functions as well as making it difficult to use one’s powers.” “Okay, so once every few weeks,” she agreed, nodding. “But, God, Cole, I will be waiting eagerly for next time.” “You were not afraid,” he noted, pleased. “No. I took your advice. Surrender IS release. I’m not used to putting myself completely in the hands of others, but I think that’s mainly because there just aren’t that many I trust that far. With you, it actually feels good.” He smiled and kissed the top of her head. “We are One now,” he began hesitantly. “I know.” She smiled up at him. “And I like that idea an awful lot...” “I’m glad, Taushi.” “What’s that mean?” she asked, glancing curiously up at him. “It is a Cirronian endearment, Mel. Loosely, it means ‘my love’. Literally, it is ‘the other half of my soul’.” “That’s the most beautiful thing anyone’s ever called me,” she whispered, tears in her eyes. “It is fitting to our relationship. It is not the most common of endearments, but for us I think it works.” “Very well. What should I call you?” “What would you like to call me?” “Mine.” He smiled widely, chuckling. “Call me Tausha, then. It also means ‘the other half of my soul’. Together, we are one soul now. It is fitting.” “It’s more than fitting. It’s beautiful.” She reach up, catching his face in her hands and drawing it down to hers. “Kiss me, Tausha,” she ordered. “That’s the most beautiful thing anyone’s ever called me,” she whispered, tears in her eyes. “It is fitting to our relationship. It is not the most common of endearments, but for us I think it works.” “Very well. What should I call you?” “What would you like to call me?” “Mine.” He smiled widely, chuckling. “Call me Tausha, then. It also means ‘the other half of my soul’. Together, we are one soul now. It is fitting.” “It’s more than fitting. It’s beautiful.” She reach up, catching his face in her hands and drawing it down to hers. “Kiss me, Tausha,” she ordered. “If you’d like, Taushi,” he agreed easily. “I’d like it very much. And, of course, we had that deal...” ”Deal, Mel?” he asked, frowning in confusion. “Yes. You were going to show me the ropes of a Cirronian joining and, in return, I was going to show YOU the finer points of human sexuality.” His frown faded, replaced by a broad smile. “Now, Mel?” he asked eagerly. “Well, now, that depends. You said that joinings are very draining and human males require a fair bit of stamina,” she teased. “I have a great deal of stamina, Mel,” he assured her. “My life-force is somewhat weakened, but my body is still very strong.” Mel smiled widely. “I was hoping you’d say that. Kiss me, Cole Hauser, and then we can proceed with your first lesson...” END TAG Return to the Virtual Season II Return to the Watchfire Annexx
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