This is one of those fics that was inspired by a lot of different things. A couple of songs I listened to, Blue's fic "Tabula Rasa", and repeated watchings of early episodes like the Pilot and 'Cloud Nine' all figured in. I think I'm getting the hang of Tracker fic, but please don't laugh at my names…I'm terrible with names anyway and these alien ones are even harder to come up with LOL. This was actually a spur of the moment fic that formed in my head in about ten or twenty minutes. I'm not having these short fics beta'd because it takes too long, but if anyone notices any glaring errors, let me know. I especially tend to miss grammar things easily. All feedback is appreciated.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just take them out of Lion's Gate's toybox, play with them for a little while and then return them to the box unharmed.

"Mel, can I borrow your car?" Cole asked as he emerged from the stairway and walked over to the bar.

"Yes, I think that would be all right" she answered, looking up from her cleaning. "Where are you going?" she asked as she got the keys out. "Got some new information on someone?"

"I just want to drive outside the city for a while" he answered. "I want to…what do you call it. . . Stargaze, and these city lights make it extremely difficult, even using the telescope."

"Homesick, Cole?" she asked, handing him the keys.

"Only a bit," he answered, "but it's nothing I can't handle. The reason I want to do this is that I've been thinking a lot about my wife and daughter lately. Some of the things I've seen and heard over the past few days have brought back memories."

Mel nodded. "I can tell. You've been pretty quiet, and when you do those . . .what are they, trances? . . .you've been having those nightmare things again."

"Yes, they've been coming on very often," he answered, "and I thought that maybe being alone out where I can see the stars and talking to my family might help a little. Humans do that sometimes, talking to their loved ones who have died."

"I talk to my grandmother sometimes when I'm alone" Mel said. " Lately it's mostly been questions, like why didn't she tell me about any of this when she was alive. I guess it's like a stress reliever or something. They might or might not hear us, but talking helps us feel better."

"You probably wouldn't have believed your grandmother if she'd told you," he answered. "You had to find out for yourself."

"I guess so. I probably would've thought she wasn't quite all there or something, you know, crazy."

"Probably" he replied. He paused for a moment and then spoke up again. "I'd better be going. I'm just glad you trust me to drive alone now. It makes things a lot easier."

She smiled slightly. "You've improved a lot since you started and at least you're not driving without a license anymore. Just don't take any more driving advice from Nestov."

"I've made a point of not doing that anymore." he answered. "All his advice is bad."
Mel laughed. "Just be careful."

"I will, Mel," he said as he turned to leave. "I won't be gone too long."

He drove for some time, until he was outside of the city, not too far from Highway 88, the place where Mel had first picked him up. That whole thing did, indeed, seem a long time ago. In reality, it had only been a little over a year, but already he couldn't imagine life without Mel. He had no regrets about his decision to stay with her. Perhaps they would both go to Cirron one day. Mel had expressed a desire to do it sometime in the future. Or maybe he would stay on Earth. The important thing was that they were together. He remembered the empty, lonely feeling he'd had after he'd lost his family, and going home had brought that feeling back. He couldn't allow himself to end up alone again. Still, happy as he was here, he missed his family greatly. It would really hit him when he'd see young humans out with their families, or couples sharing a romantic moment like a kiss or an embrace together. He'd watch for a moment and inevitably think back on what he'd lost and how alone he was. As much as he cared for Mel, even she couldn't take away all of the emptiness he felt.

Stopping the car and shutting off the engine, he got out and stood leaning against the side of the car, staring up at the night sky. It was so much clearer out here, away from the bright lights that lit up the sky so brightly they almost completely blocked the stars from view. There was a slight orangish cast to the west, in the direction of the city, but apart from that, there was nothing to hide the light of the moon and stars. The blackness of the sky was a sharp contrast to the hundreds of tiny, twinkling lights and the large, round shape of Earth's moon. He recognized the Big Dipper, and even though he couldn't see Cirron, he knew it wasn't far from that constellation. He felt close to his family here.

He began to speak softly, in Cirronian. It felt good to speak it again, mostly because human languages, even English, which was considered fairly complex by Earth standards, lacked the words and concepts he needed to clearly express his thoughts and emotions. Many of the words he spoke had no English equivalent, but a rough translation would have been I miss you both very much. I wish you could be with me, if only for a few minutes. Mel is a good friend, and I care for her very much, but I would give anything to have you with me again. I love you both very much, and my heart aches for you. I think about you every day. Having a special friend like Mel helps, but the emptiness is still there. I look forward to the day we can be together again. He sighed, wishing there were some way that he could have both Mel and his family with him.

Good memories began to fill his mind. Cirronian standards of beauty were different from human ones, since Cirronians lacked physical bodies, but he liked to think that his wife, Duna, would be thought of as beautiful even here. He remembered the radiant golden glow of her light, the loveliness of her appearance and the feeling of her presence against him. He recalled the wonderful, euphoric feeling of mating. It wasn't the same as human mating, but he thought, something far better. There was no way to express it in human language. Their two life forces coming together in what could best be explained as 'becoming part of each other', intertwining with each other, manifesting with a brilliant, dazzling glow of light. He wondered if he would ever experience those feelings again. Perhaps, someday, with Mel, but not now. For now, he would content himself with the memories. He remembered the times they'd walked and talked or just sat together under skies very much like this one.

His thoughts turned to his daughter, Savara. Cirronian birth wasn't like human birth. The 'pregnancy' as humans called it, was much shorter. There was little or no pain at all, thought the process of creating a new life force was just as exhausting for a female Cirronian as for a female human. The mother's life force usually needed several days to regenerate. He vividly recalled the first time he'd seen her and held her. She had a soft, golden glow and looked very much like her mother. She was playful and intelligent and seemed to enjoy very much showing what she knew and talking about her father, that he was a tracker and he was very brave. That always made him smile. He recalled several times when something had frightened her and she'd come to him. He'd hold her and rock her and tell her that as long as he was with her, she never had to be frightened, because he would always protect her.

Bitter memories began to come to him, memories of the days following their deaths. Though peaceful by nature, Cirronians were still capable of feeling pain, anger and even hatred at times. The emotions weren't exactly like human ones, but they were similar. Unlike some other species, humans and Vardians in particular, a Cirronian would never kill out of revenge or hatred, but he had felt driven to track down Rhee and make him face justice.

He hadn't been there when his family was killed, but sometimes he saw vivid, painful images, something like the terrible dreams humans called nightmares, in his mind that made him think of what they must have gone through in their last moments. Cirro-nians didn't sleep, of course, but they did sometimes go into a trancelike or meditation type of state that was used to help relax and clear the mind. Most of the time, he would experience peaceful, pleasant images, but on rare occasions, the terrible, painful visions would come while he was in this state and he wouldn't be able to drive them away. He would find himself shaking and crying and having to explain to Mel what as going on. She was very understanding and caring, and would try to comfort him, holding him and rocking him and speaking soothingly. Usually, that worked and he'd calm down.

Sometimes, he couldn't help but feel as though he'd failed them because of what had happened. They'd both depended on him to protect them and he hadn't been able to. That's why he could not let anything happen to Mel. He had never expected to find someone as special as her again, and he didn't think he could live with himself if anything happened to her. She was a friend, but also so much more than that. He had already saved her life several times, and would do whatever it took, even giving up his own life force, to ensure her safety.

For a long time after his family had been taken, he had felt dead and empty inside. Putting his life back together and moving on was a long, painful process. Meeting Lontoria on Sar-Top had helped somewhat, and his friendship with Mel had done him much good over the past year. As he'd slowly recovered, he'd noticed something: The searing pain, intense loneliness and numbing grief had slowly faded away with time, but there was a dull ache that never really left. Most of the time it was there in the back of his mind, but there were so many other things to be done that it didn't really bother him very much. But, sometimes certain things would make it hit him more intensely-a sight, a sound, the actions of a criminal he was tracking- and he would think of what had been so cruelly taken from him and how much he missed them. He hoped that maybe one day, after he died, or perhaps in another life, they would be together once more and would not have to be separated again.

Cirronians had something of a religion, but it wasn't like human religion, thought it bore a slight resemblance to the beliefs of the humans called 'Native Americans' or 'Indians'. Most Cirronians believed there was a higher being of some kind, and called it by several different names, such as the Great Life Force, the Great Spirit, or simply the Guiding Spirit. They believed that before they were born, their life forces lived among the stars with the spirit and then returned there when they died. They would then come back-it was something like the human idea of 'reincarnation'-but they didn't know as what. It might be another Cirronian, but it might also be a young one of another species, or even an animal of one planet or another. The spirit wouldn't always be with their living relatives or friends, as some humans believed, but when guidance was needed, the spirit would be there to give direction and comfort in some form or another.

Cole wondered where the spirits of Duna and Savara were now. He wondered what kind of beings they might be and what planet they might be on. Sometimes he did feel as though they were near him but other times they seemed very far away. He thought of them very often and longed for the day when they might be reunited. Perhaps he would be able to have not only them, but Mel with him as well. That would make him truly happy.

He continued to gaze at the stars for a few more seconds and then turned to get back in the car. He'd like to have stayed longer, but he knew that Mel would get concerned if he stayed away too long. She 'd probably worry that he 'd run into a fugitive and gotten hurt or something. He started the motor and began the drive back, feeling a lot better than he had earlier in the evening.

When he arrived back at the bar, Mel was still sitting downstairs. He realized she'd been waiting for him to come back.

"You waited up for me," he said.

"I just got a little worried. Are you all right now?"

"Yes, Mel. The drive helped a lot," he said as he handed her the keys. He glanced at the clock. "You should go to bed. It's late, and the human part of your physiology needs sleep or you won't do well during the day. I have to get back to work."

Mel nodded as she stood. "I guess I should . . .Are you sure you're all right?"

"Yes, Mel. I'm okay." He answered reassuringly.

"Are you sure? We can talk about it if you want to."

"I'm sure," he answered with a slight smile. "I do appreciate your concern, though. And if I want to talk about it, I'll let you know, okay?"

"All right. As long as you're sure."

"I'm sure, Mel. Come on, we should go upstairs."

Mel crossed to the door, locked it, and then moved toward the stairwell. They started up the stairs together. When they reached the top, they said goodnight to each other and he watched as Mel went into her room. After she closed the door, he went into his. He glanced out the room's small window at the darkened sky and then sat down to his work, still thinking about his trip. It had felt good, and he decided to do it again sometime soon. Even though his family wasn't really there, at least he could still talk to them and remember the time they'd had together. At least, he could keep their memory close.

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