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Dreamer - Nightmare Listening to the tones behind the words is always interesting. What were those echoes in Adam's empty apartment? Duncan has had only a brief look at the man who will be as strong an influence as his erstwhile father. What was going through the minds of the Eldest Immortal as he ran, and the younger Highlander as he looked around the empty flat? That flat, a modern, brushed aluminum stylized hiding place, Adam’s Flat A stage set for Adam to play against. “Mostly
Harmless…” The armillary, a nod to the past, but you keep yourself focused in the present… You hold the past dear, honoring its standards, loyal to its ideals…
Stark black and white in your bedroom. You are only shades of gray… But I didn’t know that then… You are color, earth brown
eyes, black hair… golden and bronze in my doorway. Bright
and alive… You are so young… you’ve
never lost your passion, your love of life. It pours out of you
like a fountain… I want to drink at that fountain… I didn’t realize how many men hid in that long muscled body; how many looked out at me from those green-gold eyes… You have always been Duncan
MacLeod, of the Clan MacLeod… Never lost yourself in the
shadows to stay safe… Never hid, especially from yourself…. The elegant suede coat and
Aran knit sweater, the modern equivalent of a dandy’s cloak and
lace frothed shirt … You move like the Lord of a pride
of lions. You’re poised to attack, to do battle… Warrior
born and trained… Are you safe? Are you safe? Can I hope that you will come back to me again? It would be dangerous to be near you
again… You are still a Watcher… I could seek out the Headquarters and wait for you to come out… I could look in all the University’s coffeehouses and Jazz joints. I could hunt you in the libraries… I watch from the safety of the Watchers… I
wander near the small cafés I know you visit. I’ve
even gone to the Opera… Somehow, I don’t want to do that. You will find me. I know I’ll see you again. I shouldn’t do that. His
passion is a flame that can burn me to ashes… It was arrogant of me to offer you my protection. It was cruel of you to ask me to take your head… You have so much to teach me… He could have taken my head… He
has taken my heart. He has so much to learn. Will you be a friend? You have gone through the losses. You’ve wandered for miles and years and seen places that are dust and legend in this time… Have you been a king, a god? Were you a slave? Will you be a lover? You
have lost so much, your clan, your loves, but never yourself. You
have led battles… You have never worn chains. There were books there… so many languages. When you dream, what tongue do you hear? You looked at my books with recognition
and affection. You’re like Alexander, wanting to know everything… Will
you learn my dreams? Will you understand my many faces? Darius was my friend. He accepted me, as my father never could. Can you accept me? I try to do the right thing. I don’t have answers for all your
questions. I can not be your father… Can you accept
me and all the long litany of awful things I’ve done? You
try so hard to be a decent man. I haven’t always, though. Sometimes the anger and the fear take hold of me, and I do terrible things. Fear and the desperate need to survive... Will
you understand the horrible things I’ve done, just to go on living? I have loved. I’ve lost all of them… Tessa was a guiding star for me. She was my lover, friend, companion… Amanda, here and gone again… And then I found another woman, a healer… But she could not heal me. The sickness I hold inside me frightened her… It frightens me. Many times I’ve taken lovers and
wives. They are all dust now. I can’t even remember
all their names… My immortality robbed me of them all. It
might not rob me of you. I’ve had other loves… Fitz made me laugh. Then Kalas took him. He almost took you. The thought of losing you… Will we be friends or more than friends? A slave does what he is told. An
immortal slave dies, and dies and dies again. His body doesn’t
belong to him. I’ve made love to women and men, been whore
to some of them… Kalas would have taken more than my body… I can see your smile, feel the warmth
of you walking beside me. I can’t wait too long to come
back into your life. |
