The New Year Lyric Wheel 2004 The End is the Beginning Happy New Year, Lyric Wheel.
Dana sent the lyric and Amand-r specified the direction we were
to take. Verrry interesting. Slashy Nothing much has changed. The headstone is just as grey, the grass as green. It’s sunny, today, not the stone colored sky of five years back. I bowed my head for a moment. The winds were the only sound. They were cold, colder than they seemed that New Years Day when he brought Connor’s body back to the highlands. Maybe I was just too numb then to feel the icy chill. Why had I come back? The last couple of years had been busy. Connor’s warehouses had been carefully inventoried so all he had to do was decide on what to keep and what to sell. Favorite charities received the bequests Connor had designated. He fulfilled all the conditions of Connor’s will. Now, Duncan’s disappeared and there’s an emptiness in me… I thought we’d weathered the worst of it. I thought he’d made his peace with Connor’s death. I thought there might finally be some time for us. No Immortals chasing him, no nightmares from my past to tear the possibilities from me. After all we’ve been through, I've got this crazy dream of stripping down to truth and bone. Oh, I know, my mouth is full of secrets I'm too afraid to tell. My body's full of longing for you to know me well. Duncan, where did you go? Did I frighten you? It was a chance I had to take, to hold you, press my face against your cheek… Sometimes I can feel you breathing into me. I move through the day in the rhythms that I've known, still with this crazy dream of stripping down to truth and bone. Truth, I love you. I have to admit it to myself, even if I never do say it to you. Malaysia was wet, windy and far colder than I expected. Perhaps I was the cold and the fear that I might not find you or that I might only be able to avenge you. Japan was beautiful, I suppose. Early summer with flowers and the scent of incense coming from the temple all around me… Watching always for that tall, dark form, the coat moving slowly with the weight of the sword. But you weren’t there. I took on translating jobs to stay busy, then the need would overwhelm me and I’d start looking again… and again, find nothing. The Watchers were no help. You know about them and they wouldn’t be able to stay with you, even if they found you. Your cabin was empty. The roof needed some work and I found your tools, wrapped in oiled canvas, clean and ready for your hand. My hands wielded them instead. I cleaned the solar panels and aired the place out, hoping that every shadow on the water was you. Finally, the silence was too much and I went back to Paris, telling myself that you were as likely to show up there as anywhere. The holidays were grim. Joe was back in Chicago. And so, I came back here. Will you ever come back, let me explain that touch, that need. ************************************************************ Finished. The tasks I set for myself are done, now. All of the wrongs I could set right, have been repaired as best I can. Kate, Faith, has a new companion. He’s had better luck than I did explaining the home truths about Immortals. She seems happy, more like the pretty seamstress I met all those years ago. Amanda has settled, as much as she ever will, and she, too, is happy. We’ll always be friends, but Wolfe has the primary place in her heart. I thought it might bother me. Manda will always yell if she really needs me, but he might just be the only man to keep her honest. That’s funny, in a way. It seems as though I’m the only one alone now. And I’m wondering if I really want to be. Last fall I went up to the lake and someone had been fussing around the cabin. Methos? Well, Joe doesn’t climb ladders and everyone else is accounted for. What did it mean? I have to be honest with myself, Methos isn’t easy to know. He can be an absolute bastard when he feels like it. The Horsemen were a shock. Not so much that he’d been that cruel killer, but that he’d lied about knowing Cassandra. He was my friend and friends aren’t supposed to lie to each other. We should have talked it out. Methos doesn’t always like to do that. I should have insisted after O’Rourke. Then that whole mess with Kell… The numbness wore off. The pain of Connor’s choice stayed for far too long. Connor trusted me to win and I did. He left me to finish the fight, and I did. I wandered for a while, careful about leaving tracks. There were a few fights, but nothing like the insanity I’d had to deal with in the ‘90s. Connor had a number of favorite places and I visited them all. If I tried I could catch just a hint of the things and places he loved and it warmed me to know them, too. Now… I wanted to go back to Scotland for a visit. I wanted to remember the time Connor and I had run with the deer and nearly gotten ourselves killed for it. I wanted to see that little church Connor had taken me into, making me understand that I was no demon and neither was he. Rachel was glad to see me and introduced me to her husband and two red headed children. I rented a small cottage and started getting acquainted with my first home again. New Year’s day… Hogmanay, I put together a couple of sandwiches and a big thermos of coffee, filled Connor’s silver flask with eighteen year old scotch, and set off to visit my kinsman’s grave. It was cold, not that winter in Scotland is ever particularly warm, but the wind blowing in my eyes made me keep my head down and my eyes water. I thought I saw someone moving up at the crest of the hill, but then there was nothing. There was snow on the headstone, I brushed it off, then took of my glove to open the flask. “Happy birthday, Connor. Everything is handled as you wanted it to be, my friend. Rest well, my brother, rest well.” ************************************************************* “Would you have a mind to share a wee dram?” said a voice behind me and I turned, feeling that familiar buzz. “Methos!” He nodded as he took the whisky and swallowed a healthy measure. “I was waiting for you.” “Were you, now?” He stepped close, I could smell the scotch. I waited, standing very still, knowing that he would bolt if he thought he wasn’t welcome. Then, gently, I reached out and pulled him into my arms. “I’m glad you’re here, Methos.” And I kissed him, gently at first, though it caught fire fast. Somehow, he was almost inside my coat, cold cheek pressed against mine and a murmur that became my name. “I looked for you, Mac…” “Well, it looks as though you found me.” I shivered, whether it was the cold or the possibilities I was suddenly seeing, I couldn’t tell. “I think I’ve got some haggis left and either strong tea or something else to go with it.” “You can’t scare me away with haggis, MacLeod. I’ve eaten worse and in lots worse company.” We walked back to the cottage. It didn’t take long to get a fire started and the scotch warmed us, too. I took a pair of steaks out of the icebox and set them to broil while I cut a couple of slices off the haggis Rachel had sent over. Methos looked at it like a cat examining something the dog brought in. I started laughing and then stopped, Methos’ arms holding me so tightly I couldn’t breathe. He looked at the open door to the bedroom. I grinned and took the steaks off the fire. They could wait. We’d take the time to talk later, too. We had more important things to do. The small fireplace was soon doing it’s best to warm the room. “I hope you like feather beds and down quilts. Not allergic to goose feathers, are you?” His only answer was to break records getting out of his clothes and into the bed. He looked at me, head tilted to the side as if asking a question. In answer, I undressed, goosebumps popping out all over me… almost all over me. The quilt was lifted and I joined Methos. Kisses led to roaming hands and the room was suddenly considerable warmer. One part of my life has ended but, this new years day has brought a brand new beginning. -30- Truth and Bone By Heather Nova Sometime I can feel you breathing into me. And these hands I can feel them tugging at my sleeve, I move through the day in the rhythms that I've known. I've got this crazy dream of stripping down to truth and bone. All of it, all of it, all of it stripped down. All of it, all of it, all of it, to truth and bone My mouth is full of secrets I'm too afraid to tell. My body's full of longing for you to know me well. I move through the day in the rhythms that I've known. I've got this crazy dream of stripping down to truth and bone. All of it, all of it, all of it stripped down All of it, all of it, all of it, to truth and bone. I think of sinking in way over my shoulders, Let the water, the water take me in and I Need you to cut through to where I'm hidden, I'm awkward and I'm too polite and I want Two stars for arms like Orion I could Breathe in and breathe in and breathe out. If I could only lose myself I would lose myself in you, I move though the day in the rhythms that I've known. I've got this crazy dream of stripping down to truth and bone. All of it, all of it, all of it stripped down All of it, all of it, all of it, to truth and bone. |