In our continuing search for the roots of our traditions, we are delighted to report that we have found the long lost home temple of the Great Goddess, Kaffenia.  As suspected by many locals, she has long been worshiped in the Great Northwest, especially Seattle.

Her origins are shrouded in the dust storms of Africa the mountain regions of Indonesia, South and Central America.  Since Her rebirth off the Pacific coast from the foam on a cup of espresso in 1950, Her message of warmth and invigoration for all has been cherished by Her many followers.   Students, businesspersons, all have welcomed the stirring of the brain engendered by Her sacraments.

Her major traditions include the Starbuckian, SBC, Cafe d'Arte and Crown storefront branch temples.  There has been a great deal of activity by the mainstream MJB, Folgers and Yuban cults too.  This is obviously a movement whose time has come.

To invoke the Goddess properly one must use the prayer appropriate to the particular hour/activity. Thus for the First Hour of the Morning Office the Oh Latte is used.  Variations in the responses to "What can I get for you" include:  "Tall, skinny no foam, (2 shots of espresso and hot, low fat milk) "Grande, breve, easy" (2 shots of espresso, foamed half and half with foam on top).

The sect which is devoted to Kafinia's Divine Half Sister, Cho-Kolata, usually invokes Her under the Title, Mocha.  A Mocha Breve with whipped cream is considered the most perfect aspect of this Incarnation of the sister Goddesses.  The Mocha may be said under any circumstances even under the additional auspices of Nona-Kafinia, the Older Goddess whose nerves require coddling.

Midday prayers include the Espresso Straight, a truly invigorating experience, and the Ah Cappuccino (more foam than a Latte topped with cinnamon).  This is appropriate any time after 11:00 am according to the latest rubrics.

Our latest report from the Starbuckian Mission indicates a large number of converts to that aspect of the Goddess known as I'ced Latte.  Muttering the prayers, "Viennese Blend, Gazebo over ice and Grind for cone", devotees gather at their favorite temple for services throughout the day,

Even those for whom coffee, Her major sacrament, is not imbibable may approach Kafinia.  Her Daughters, E’Tal Yan Sohda and E'steamed M’Lk are always willing to intercede for the true believer.  The older Sister, Nona-Kafinia, while not as powerful will always be willing to grant restful sleep.

Those needing further information regarding the Great Goddess Kafinia may adjourn to their local temple where the acolytes will be happy to demonstrate the sacraments.  Frequent visits will result in the development of the so-called Seattle relaxed attitude/outlook.  Speculation continues as to its actual cause but it is believed to be a special sign of the favor of the Goddess - Particularly to Latte Lovers.